I know that it was hard, when I told you that I needed to walk away. Knowing just how much you loved me and knowing what you would have done for me to stay, I still chose to leave. And now here I am thinking about what could have been.
We have so many memories. Memories that remind us of our hurdles, memories of elation and most of all memories of love. It's funny how I told you we couldn't be because I didn't want my selfish ways to hurt you. Although who was I fooling because in the end, I ended up hurting myself instead. Yes things happen for a bigger purpose and when it comes to relationships, our hindsight is 20/20 but here I am mad at myself. I've taken off my glasses and have wiped it down with my senses, seeing the picture a little too late.
You are a good man and I know that you deserve better than me. I know I've told you that I'm trying to concentrate on myself and my dreams. Although those are true, after the ordeal with you I've been trying to tell myself to live my life with no regrets; just to convince my soul that forgiveness has been granted for all of the self-inflicted pain. I used the past as an excuse so that you could wave your white flag out of the relationship realm but here I am wishing for you to be sitting right next to me, wishing we could go back to how it used to be.
I turned away from you, someone that truly loves me; so that I could try something new with someone else. However, he doesn't feel for me the same way and now Im walking in the shoes you were previously in. Here I am even harder on myself because I'm repeating the same mistake; leaving people that love me to chase people that could care less. This new guy is amazing and I wish he could see just how much I love him but nothing I do seems to be get through to him. The emptiness that he is making me feel bewilders my mind because I can only imagine the pain that I had put you through.
For all of the pain that I have caused, I'm sorry. I hope that you can forgive me. They say that people should not take an eye for an eye and I thank you for not having any hard feelings against me. But for some reason karma is taking out my vision as we speak and for the moment, my heart remains blind to this all. Thank you for seeing the good in me and most of all, for everything that I put you through...thank you for still loving me unconditionally.
..."Regrets and mistakes, they are memories made. Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste? I wish nothing but the best for you."...
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