Beyond Your Limits

It was my brother's birthday and we havent seen each other in a hot minute. He was the one that held my hand as I bought my first guitar. Let alone taught me how to play my first song, “more than words.” Taking pictures of Humpback whales with him back in the day was not easy at all for me but he is the reason why I love photography so much. He saw me at my worst, picked me up when I fell, and most importantly told me the truth even if it made me cry more.

If I were to describe him in one word, “generous.” He lives a busy life. Putting on different hats as a photographer for one of our local newspapers, musician (plays in 3 bands), and boyfriend to his girl. Although even with his busy schedule, he still makes time to reach out. Every time I needed to vent or in his words whine, he was there. Since he is getting older and have been experimenting with his cooking skills, I always seem to see his pictures with wine in hand. It reminded me of his annoying saying after every talking session, “do you want cheese with your whine?” So what did I get him for his birthday you ask? One bottle of red and white wine. Haha.

From career to personal life issues, it was always great to hear his perspective on things because mind you, he is a wise ol’ man that has seen and experienced a lot of things. Lol. However whatever decision I have made, whether good or bad, he has stood by me to see me make it out through the storm. I can honestly say he has been the only one that has pushed me over the borderlines of what I thought was capable. I thought to myself for a second that it could be because he has known me for so long and has seen what I could do. He has seen me grow up and has seen me when my will had been defeated yet has seen me glorified during my triumphs.

It was not until I met someone who is also in the media industry as well. He works with a different medium and different market from me. When I first met him it was a shaky start but once I found out he was in the industry, we hit it off real quick. During these uncertain economic times, it is hard for media folks to hold on to their jobs. Its been rough for a lot of people. People having to deal with layoffs, pay cuts, or even losing the entire organization as whole because of financial instability. However people in the media industry are not intimidated and are making ends to survive.

The new person and I have conversed about future plans. We look at the positives of not being totally immersed as we used to because in the media industry it is a love and hate relationship. Always learning something new, everyday being inconsistent from the previous, being in the know, and working with great people that are dedicated to their craft—now that is what we love about the industry. Having to cancel appointments or decline RSVPs, the sleepless nights, always on the go, and not being able to spend quality time with the loved ones—that is the dislike. Now that we are out of the loop a little, we are able to catch up on all that we have missed these past years and realize that what we had been missing was taken for granted.

We are both on the same path to make it in this world despite the given circumstances of our industry. This person barely knows me yet is totally in sync with my mind set. From work representations to exemplifying good character, I know in my mind that this person is going to make it. That is why i say that things happen for a reason. Who would have known. He has made me see things in a new light and we both know that in the end...even though some things aren't guaranteed, we will be fulfilled just by knowing that we gave it a shot. Together we have encountered so many opportunities and have exchanged hesitation with encouragement.

It got me thinking, everyone has that one person that pushes them to do just a little bit more and a little bit better more than one time around. Whether a stranger or a life-time friend, who knew that having patience and taking the time to listen could go a long way. If you got someone that has done this for you, let them know that you appreciate them for believing in you when no else did.

“Nobody knows your limits better than you do, but every once in awhile somebody will question all you know and they will push you for the better.”

*My brother's photography blog

*One of my all time favorite mixes by DJ Elofader (click regular download)

Top 10 Late Night

So, I did a top 10 late night eatery feature for the Honolulu Advertiser. I'm really proud of it because I had to put a lot of work into it, staying up during the wee hours of the night to eat all of that food within weeks. haha. It was so much fun revisiting each place. There are endless stories for each place after a late night of drinking. :) If you are ever down in Hawaii, these are the spots.

Check it out HERE and enjoy!

Encounter With A Doubter

This morning was great. I had a good night sleep, woke up early and as I was driving to work, there was no traffic (since Hawaii’s public school system, city & county workers are on furlough). So as you can imagine, I’m in a good mood. Blasting the music, cool breeze going through my hair, Chanel glasses on and hella cheesin. Although as I look down to my speedometer, I see that my tire pressure light is on. I don’t panic because I know that there is a Chevron gas station near my working place and that the car would be ok in the meantime.

I drive into the gas station, turn off my engine, look for my tire pressure reader and I get out of my car. I check the left side tires first since I know that most of the time, those are the tires that causes the light to go off. I’m dressed in a long pink dress and I lift my dress up so that it won’t touch the ground as I bend down (and no you crazies, I only hiked it by my knee). As I finish the first tire, a guy walks by and says if everything is okay with my car. I tell the guy that my tires just need a little air. He stands off in the distance even though I can see him in the corner of my eye watching my every move. I carry along and go towards my right tires. I pull the slack more and I repeat my steps. The guy then slowly walks up and says, “are you sure you know what you are doing?” I turn to him with meanest look and said, “yes, it’s not hard putting air in car tires” and he has the nerve to say, “are you sure?” and continues to stand there! After I finished putting air in my tires, I turn on my key and sure enough the air pressure light is no longer on.

I think it’s so sexist, inconsiderate and rude to watch someone for a good 20 minutes to see if they can put air into their tires. It’s like yeah, I’m wearing a dress, I got some make-up on, my hair is done and I got some heals on but that don’t mean a damn thing. I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m not on my rags and I’m usually really nice to strangers but when you give me a bad vibe and when your tone of voice is demeaning..OMG …I’ll hold my composure for a real long time but keep rubbing me the wrong way, then count on me to react. The guy had the nerve to ask like three times and had the nerve to just watch that long!

I know that the way I was dressed today there was no way in hell did I want to have any oil or dirt on my dress or on my face (because I had to go to work right after) but still don’t talk to me like I don’t know crap! And trust, I'm no afriad to get her hands dirty. Yeah I know that many girls may not know how to change their oil, put water in their engine, let alone put air in their tires but please don’t treat me like a stereotype because ask me how to do things dealing with cars and I’ll sure enough tell you what I know (Daddy did raise me around cars and motorcycles).

So please fellas and my ladies, dont underestimate what a person knows or their abilities due to their appearance. Like the old saying, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” See, if that guy were to offer to do it for me so that I wouldn’t have to hold my dress and do my tires, then that would have been another story.

On a lighter note, the weekend is here, party it up my lovers and for my lovers that are students, we almost done with this semester..keep pushing, we are almost there.




What can I say, there ain't that many girls that can get dirty like I can. :)

...With A Purpose...

So..I just came back from my 3-week long trip and I have to admit…I’m DEPRESSED. This trip was amazing and I did not want to come back home! It changed the way I view life. This trip made me realize that for once I should be able to be selfish. To do what I want on my own time, on my own terms and all in order to fulfill my happiness.

On this trip, I passed the yellow caution tape and did spontaneous things. I traveled to places that I have never been to before and decided to do them on short notices. I’ve learned that friendships can appear in the most oddest places and have fallen in love..over and over with things. I’ve learned that you should always follow your hunch feeling and I’ve learned that what you believe should never be compromised.

The people that I have met along this trip have inspired me to follow my dreams, even if it means risking all that I have here at home. Every single person breezes through your life for some sort of purpose and I believe that the people on my trip were a sense of encouragement. The thing that I see by living at home is comfort. I have it good here in Hawaii. I have family, friends, a job that I love, a good network and a degree to finish. This trip has truly pushed my determination to go and chase after that dream..even if it means starting from the very bottom with no one to depend.

I did a lot of thinking during this 3-week journey and I’m really glad that this trip help put things into perspective. Before I went on this trip, I thought to myself, "this trip should be with purpose." My best friend (of more than 17 years) helped me appreciate our close knit love. This woman would do anything for me and I would do the same without a doubt but our trip to the bay area gave us a chance to get away. A chance to take couple of days out of our familiar scene to explore onto new territory, to venture out. One thing that I have learned from her during this trip is that no matter where you grew up, what people say about you, and what you have at the moment...when you have a dream, go for it. She has made me realize that you have to make things happen and to always think high and above of what your full potential could be...That anything is possible and the love of your family/friends will always be there to guide you through the stormiest weather.

I can't even put into the words when describing the friendships that I had made throughout this trip. I met the most amazing people and it rings true.."it don't matter where you are, its the people that you roll with" that makes the event more enjoyable. I was fortunate to have met the most down to earth, real, and fun people on this trip. I got to reconnect with some old ones and boy did the good times keep flowing. I spent a crap load of money in California but like a good friend told me, "you can always make the money back but you can't make up for loss times," which is so true. As I think back at all of the random trips that I have taken, all the risks that I needed to take in order to make those trips, situations where we ran into the law, the body bruises, sleepless nights, late night food binges...I would not trade any of those good memories for anything.

I've been away from the east coast for 6 years and being there has made me realize that without the sense of family, there is no self-identity. There were so many late-night talks that consisted of laughs, tears, beers, shots and ono food. I've always known my daddy's side as the family that is laid back, adaptable and full of heartache. My daddy's side has experienced so much hardship (what family doesn't) but what I've realized that makes my family so unique is that no matter what, we have always pulled it back together and have supported each other every step of the way. From domestics, bad habits, failed marriages and lives that have been cut short...each individual could have not made it through if it weren't for the love. We talked about the past, the present, what could've been and what could be. It made me conceptualize the meaning of time and how its so valuable. I mean I've always known the value of time but I've been in the constant hustle and grind, leaving my family on the sidelines. I'm glad that I got to reconnect with my aunties and my cousins. My aunties made me realize how strong my back bone is and has made me appreciate the experiences that has made me into who I'am. My cousins on the other hand made me realize my values/morals and how to use them in order to be what to I want to eventually become.

As you can see, I did a lot of thinking in order to justify what should be done in order to live a happy life. I may not know a lot of things but I really don't care about the fame, money, materialistic things or the looks because who needs recognition, financial status can be taken away, the value of material things whether out over time and looks can only get you so far. Since I've been back home, I've promised myself to start living to my own standards, to my own beat, and to start living it with a purpose.

"Nice Guys"

So a friend of mine wrote about how some women have forgotten or ignored about the very few “nice guys” that are out there. However, I beg to differ on his claims.

Every girl sets their standards of what they want in a guy. Often times when girls are young, their standards are not as reasonable to standards set by mature older women. This is one of the many steps of trial and error in growing up and in relationships. All in the all TIMING IS EVERYTHING and maybe some people need to just speak up.

Almost every boy growing up has a girl best friend. This girl could be considered as one of the boys because she keeps that feminine taste with a rugged edge. So you fell for her and always tended to her needs, whether it was to keep her company while shopping to wiping her tears away when a guy took her for granted. You confided in her friends and the boys that you liked her but never dared to tell her because you were afraid of rejection, that the feelings weren’t mutual. So you kept your distance and tried as much as you could to keep things normal… even though you knew that she had a sense of how you felt about her.

She then found a guy that she had fallen head over heels for. He seemed to have everything that she could ever ask for, all that she deserved. Your heart ached a little because to see her happy with someone else instead of you stung. You probably could have offered more love then that guy could ever give her but she seemed happy. The relationship that the two love birds had eventually bloomed. The one on one time between you and her eventually diminished in the process.

So you reinvented yourself in order to win girls like her. You tried to be like that one boyfriend she had because you believed that it is what girls liked. You’ve grown up…You are earning yourself a living, you have your own place, switched up your style and have had your share of girls but yet you are living this lifestyle alone. You probably are hitting up the bars, drinking your problems away, and looking in all the wrong places trying to find a girl just like her but you just can’t seem to find someone even close.

The girl did not ignore you, you DECIDED to move on without her. She never took you for granted, she was just not aware of how you felt. Yeah, she saw the signs but then again maybe she was afraid of losing you. Maybe she felt that a risk like that would mean risking losing you if it didn’t work out. She took into consideration your countless efforts of devotion but maybe she wanted to see how far you would go to prove how much you cared for her. You were the one that gave up and never thought about keeping the friendship flame lit. Fact is maybe her being with another guy was an ultimate test for you to show how much you loved her.

So the guy that she had fallen hard for is no longer in the picture because what she thought she wanted was superficial. Maybe she realized that the good looks, deep pockets and sense of style of the former boyfriend just didn't satisfy her the way she thought that it could. Maybe it made her miss gestures of a true gentlmen that you have showed her. Maybe it was your company that made her realize how a girl needed to be treated but when she finally came back knocking on your doorstep to admit her mistake, your personal changes became something she did not want to be acquainted with. She did not want you to alter yourself in order to confrom to a mold that she once thought would be her match. All she wanted was just you, perfectly the way you are.

Things happen for reason. After all, she may still have those feelings for you deep down. She has to have a special place for her former best friend. Maybe you both needed time to grow up, experience lessons of life in order to appreciate the company and friendship that you folks once had.


Sincerly,

The girl that saw it all happen


p.s. "nice guys finish last but you'll be happy when you see who has been waiting for you at the finish line. "