Case Of The Ex

Persistence is a good trait when it comes to situations like establishing credibility in your industry, getting that jump shot just right and pursuing your dreams. When it comes to persistence trying to make a relationship work especially when it is about pursuing a potential, then that is where I have to scream for the brakes and say halt. Persistence in that sort of stand point needs to be justified because if it means persistently trying to make the guy give you some sort of commitment then honey, you may just be barking up the wrong tree with the wrong tone.

What makes it so funny when it comes to traits of persistence are situations where you and a potential hit it off and a boulder seems to come out of no where right after it hears about you two. Just when you thought it was all good and gravy because the boy can carry a conversation, is very polite and is well put together--a case of the ex rolls through trying to tear all that ish up. Whether it is a case of a ex-girlfriend or a ex-potential, the chick is trying to strap your guy down some way or another by persistently trying to get your guy to "come back home." Although honey how can you get a guy to supposedly come back home when you two never signed a lease? and how you gonna come after me, running your mouth when I never said anything about you? I mean...I'll admit. I got no declaration ticket but we are sitting on the same baggage claim conveyor belt admiring no one else's company but each others - ain't no wrong in that so I don't understand why you trippin' off of it.

We all know that giddy feeling when we find a potential in the love department. You get that ear to ear smile when you see his name pop up on your cell phone, you plan the outfits way ahead of your set dates out and the butterflies that are flying in your tummy when you two hold hands seem to be flapping their wings so hard that it makes you work up a pair of clammy hands. Although this feeling may have you going ga-ga, the same feeling can make people territorial. For example the exs. Exs--just because you had the guy before don't mean ish to me because lets look at the facts:

1. You aren't together or probably never was.

2. He is a grown guy. He don't need you to be holding his hand. He can make his own decisions on what, where and when he wants to do things.

3. We ain't together either so that means he is free game. You can work your magic, be my guest but you know that if we roll up to a spot...he will tell everyone that he rolled up with me.

4. Actions speak louder than words.

Everyone can relate to having experienced the wrath of some crazy exs, maybe know some or potential crazy ones. lol. I just don't understand how someone can blow up my guys phone or place of work 10 times harder than I do, give my guy ultimatums with consequences attached and contact all of his boys or our mutual friends to investigate his stance or whereabouts. That's where I step back and laugh because its like..really? I mean..are you really gonna put yourself out like that? I'm not trying to say that I'm all that because trust me ladies and gents, I have my imperfections and flaws but why be down for someone that ain't down for you? From one female to another, a bad performing un-fulfilling woman drives a man away.

I totally understand the act of persistence when it means trying to make a relationship work but you have to have reasonable circumstances. Like if you have mutual friends or have kids involved, that all falls under the terms "reasonable" because whether or not two individuals agree to stay together, you two should respect each other enough to at least walk out of the relationship as friends. May I also add, you should not have to force things to work and you should not try to change people to conform to your ideologies of how a good significant other should be.

Girls should understand that even though a potential relationship didn't work out in the love department, you should be adult enough to leave the situation in good terms. If he don't want anything to do with you then why bother trying to keep that person in your life? There is no point in holding a salty grudge about a potential that happened a couple years ago or on to an ex that obviously has moved on. Never understood why girls believe that guys will find their way back because why are you going to settle benching on the sidelines when you have an opportunity to try out as a starter in the game?

Besides, he is in good hands.


"Ain't no need to fuss and fight tryin' to make it right. Certain things ain't meant to be and that's why...he's right here with me."