It's Okay

It’s okay to fall apart sometimes.
You don’t have to have all the answers.
All those pieces you’ve been holding for so long while you raced around your life looking for the last roll of scotch tape, go ahead, let 'em fall.
Every last piece.

It’s okay to scramble.
You don’t have to always be calm.
All those plans you’ve been stringing together like a bead necklace.
Every last one is beautiful, so beautiful, so go ahead.
Keep grabbing at everything you ever wanted, especially those things you feared you’d never have.

It’s okay to hope against hope.
This is not the time to be reasonable or rational.
Run, run as fast as you can against the tide.
When the last wave sweeps over you
and every hope seems to be dashed
You will still be here, right here, and you will not be sorry.

It’s okay to cry.
Even if you feel as if each tear is an accusation against your strength, your resolve, your natural equilibrium.
Cry in the car.
Cry in the shower.
Cry in bed when no one is listening or looking.
Berate yourself for not being able to get it together and then cry anyway.
How else will you know you lived, if not for these tears.

It’s okay to be lost.
Toss the map.
Leave the keys in the car.
Get out and walk.
Forget about everything you ever knew.
Crumple up those directions and move now from memory.
The memory of your heart.
The memory of your breath.
The memory of that one time you laughed so hard you cried.
The memory of that one kiss, the one that left you longing to be loved.
At the end of your unraveling,
you will look down and see your own feet that have carried you so, so far
and you will decide for once that it is okay
to sit down
to rest
to hold out your hands
to lift up your head
to open your heart...
to the possibility that you were never alone after all
not for one minute.

Go ahead, be disappointed.
Nothing turned out how you hoped.
Sit under a tree and tell me the whole of it and I won’t say a word.
I won’t say a single word.

It’s okay to feel lonely.
At the end of your wanderings
when there is no more scotch tape
and you can’t find your bead necklace of dreams anywhere,
your heart will trace an unpredictable path
to this place
and you will have just enough courage
to let love tell you the terrible beautiful truth
of how loved you were
and how even now, at the end of everything
it’s not too late.