As much as your words from the incident we had before shook me up a little bit, I understood. You didn't need the alcohol to give you liquid confidence, you just wanted me to hear you out before it was too late. I knew that those were feelings you had brewing up inside. As several weeks passed by, we both reset our minds with emotions aside to clear things out. As much as I wanted to call you to make amends, I waited it out because after all I was fine with where things were.
You drown yourself constantly in your work and you seem to drown yourself in the facade that you have to celebrate your success through those parities, girls and alcohol. I know that you are having fun and I'm glad that you are doing well but it is just not necessary for you to go on showing it off as if you have something to prove. I wish I could say things were better since we last talked but I'm over my head with trying to stay straight professionally and personally.
Alone in bed doing work, you come in right on cue with a call at 2:30 in the morning.
"What are you up to?"
"I just came home from a party."
"Oh...How are you?"
"Honestly, not that well."
The tone in your voice unmasked it all and I knew there was something more than you would allow to say during the phone call. You could also tell by my stale responses that something was up and just like old times, we confided in each other. We did not confined in each other like ex-couples would, but as people that were really looking out for the others best interest.
"I just don't know why I work as hard as I do sometimes, the people that I work for don't even appreciate me."
"You've always worked hard and the reason why you keep doing what you are doing is because you love what you do."
"I know. What about you though? You seem..well you sound like you are doing well."
"As much as I'm thankful, there is just so much pressure to keep this image up."
"Don't get lost in all of that artificial bureaucracy, you are way better than that."
"I know. I hope that your boy is helping you out with all that you're dealing with."
"He still getting used to it I guess, he doesn't quite understand."
Towards the end of our conversation the relationship seemed cordial and for the first time in a long time, it felt as if weight has been lifted off our shoulders. Maybe it was because you finally accepted the fact that it was time that you move on or maybe it was because I also realized that maybe there was still hope that we could be friends. As we started to dwindle, the last thing that you said before we hung up helped me remember the old you.
"I’m lucky that you picked up. Lucky that you stayed on. I need someone to put this weight on....I'm sorry."
No comments:
Post a Comment