Assertive "B"

“When I am assertive, I’m a b*tch. When a man is assertive, he’s a boss. He bossed up. No negative connotation behind ‘bossed up.’ But lots of negative connotation behind being a b*tch."

- Niki Minaj, MTV Pink Friday Special

Let's elaborate on this shall we?

When a woman is assertive she is not only called the "b" word but is also called many other things with negative connotations to it. There are so many interpretations of how a woman should carry herself but tons of smirks, words spoken under breath and dirty looks when a woman tries to stand up for herself and tries to get the respect that she deserves. We all know that respect is earned but at the same time, you will continue to be treated the way you allow people to treat you.


Know the difference between a woman being assertive because she wants more for herself and knows what she deserves versus a girl impersonating a grown woman, running around acting like she has credentials but has no evidence to support her timeline. I've said it before, a man that is all "bossed up" is a hustler because he reaps the rewards of the game by being assertive and by calling shots. Call a woman a "b" or a diva when she is being assertive but really, she is also a hustler in her own respect. That woman too is also "bossed up" because she sees opportunities and does not need any man to coach her. She takes it upon herself to observe, to work hard and to innovate the traditions of the sport, all to be considered as one of the best within the same playing field and all to beat even the best OGs in the game.

..."All my ladies get it up. I see you, I do the same. Take it to another level. No passengers on my plane"...

Do It Like A Dude

I’m proud to be a female but the one stereotype that I dislike about being one is the fact that women can’t do what men can do. Not to be conceited but I know that I can probably do some things better than some fellas. I just hate it when people dub the females as the weaker gender.

I just had a conversation with a friend last night and he said that women can never have a friends with benefits relationship because women are the ones that are always getting emotionally attached. Now let’s hold up, that may be true to some aspect but I know a handful of independent women that can drop and kick a man to the curb if his performance is not up to par and I know TOO MANY dudes that are worse than some of my girls when it comes to emotional acknowledgement.

Why have males been considered the “stronger” gender anyway? Because society says so? Because by science testosterone is stronger than estrogen? I think differently. I hated it when people called me a tom-boy just because I loved sports, I rather rock jeans and a shirt to school than a dress and because my favorite color was black versus pink. I even remember telling some family friends that I was on my high school wrestling team and having them look at me weird while saying, “wrestling is a boys sport.” And mind you what team won states at our high school? Yes, you guessed it! Moanalua’s female “CAMOGA” wrestling team. You better reckon that I beat all of my close guy friends when it comes to a game of tekken. And you better choose your words wisely if you think that I don’t hustle as hard as them guys.

Little girls should not have the idea that they can’t do something because it is a man’s job. I know that I was told that when I was growing up and was considered a trouble maker because I went against of what a “proper girl should do.” A wise man told me that the strongest people that are in his life are women and that rings true for me too. I think the reason why the strong people in my life are women are because the female gender has evolved to have the ability to endure by means of societal and cultural pressure.

I’m not a feminist, I’m not so quick to diss the male gender by unreasonable means and I know for a fact that there are some women that make other smart and classy females like myself look bad. I just think that us females can strut our swag, kick it down right and roll just like fellas. It really doesn’t matter what gender you are…it’s just all about backing up what we say we can do and out doing what we have previously done in order to refine ourselves.

But don’t get it twisted again because us females can….

“do it like a brotha, do it like a dude...we can do it like the man' dem”

"people say that you don't know what you've got until it's gone. Truth is you knew what you had, you just never thought you'd lose it."

New Year, New Outlook

The announcer reminded the crowd, "15 minutes till midnight!" Sure there were familiar faces at the event but I was on the clock and had no time to socialize. There I was with the camera in hand, snapping photos of people surrounded by the ones that they care about. These party goers were enjoying themselves. Maybe it was the drink specials, the music, the venue, the thousands of people there, the fact that they were there to end an old year and ring in a new one...I'm not too sure what it was but there was good-feel vibe.

As the minutes ticked, I made my way up to the top balcony and sat down for a little. I reviewed the pictures that were on my camera and looked around. There I was by myself for the 3rd  year in a row.  I thought about how I spent the previous New Years, all of them working. Do I regret it? Not at all but New Years is my favorite holiday and all these years when the clock strikes, I've been spending them alone.

As the announcer shouted, "5 more minutes till 2011!," I took my place with a fellow photographer as we updated our twitter accounts.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
Happy New Year!

Photo taken by me for nonstophonolulu.com at Aloha Tower. 

As everyone turned to the ones that they loved to say bye to 2010, I could hear murmurs of joy. As my shutter captured New Years kisses and hugs, at midnight for a short three seconds--I closed my eyes and I made a promise to myself. Often times in life, we turn to the ones that we love to celebrate or to confined the happiest and lowest moments of our lives. As I stood there alone while everyone had someone, I told myself this is a new year. No resolutions of eating less junk food, saving money or even weight lost this new year. This year will be a year of gain. A year to gain knowledge, experience, and life lessons. I thought about all of things that I have gone through during 2010 and boy was it a roller coaster. Through the pummels I still had a lot to be proud about. Just finished a Master degree, stronger relationships with the people that I love, new beginnings with people that were placed in my life for a reason and most of all memories that will forever be etched in my heart.

My promise: 
To make this year, MY YEAR.
To never give up when times get hard.
To push myself beyond my assumptions.
To make my dreams come true.
And the only way I will be able to do it is if I just be me.
No one will get you to where you want to be but yourself.

"On the road to riches don't forget to stop and take pictures. Cause life ain't about where you finish but what you've learned along the way."