Eat. Pray. Love.

The New York Best Seller has finally become a motion picture and is based on Elizabeth Gilbert's real life after her divorce. Trying to find substance in her newly single life, Gilbert found herself unhappy after what she thought would be a decision that will help her find peace. On a venture to find herself, she decides to take a year off and spend her time between Italy, India and Bali.

I've read the book twice and I love it when my favorite books are put on the big screen. It's been a while since I've familiarized myself with the book and at the movie's premiere, it  helped shed light onto some things that I have experienced. I don't want to spoil the movie for anyone that did not watch it but here are some things that I learned.

EAT:

"I am a better person when I have less on my plate."

I'm a food lover but the consequences of eating good food means buying new clothes. hehe. Sometimes I feel that people in this modern society try to fit a mold that is advertised as being perfect or "in" which then translates into constantly being obsessed to follow that trend. We often follow that trend because we want to be accepted like everyone else instead of being an outcast. However what I tend to find is that food is an outlet of learning culture. On the rooftop of your mouth, you can taste the grain of salt that makes that recipe that much better. Because who knows how many trial and error sessions had to be overcome to get that recipe just right. Food is such a big part of every culture. Why not learn the depth of international cultures by tasting it?

Not only does food satisfy your cravings but I often find myself enjoying great conversations over great food. You eat to satisfy your body. If your body isn't satisfied, your mind will not be either.


PRAY:

"You were given life; it is your duty and also your entitlement as a human being to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight."

Being raised in a Catholic household, you often pray to either give thanks or to ask for help. As long as I can remember, I prayed most of the time for the blessings in my life because I didn't know how to ask for help. Wait, let's scratch that. It's not that I didn't know how to ask for help, I think it's because when you ask for help...you are sort of confessing that you have either done wrong or have lost your way over a decision that you may have known was not right.

I'm not afraid to ask for help but I have a lot of pride. To pray for help to me can be summed in one word: admittance. I don't like admitting that I need help, I don't like admitting that I'm hurt, I don't like to admit that I'm weak. However as much as you don't want to admit it, even if it is to yourself...you become the opposite of what you say you are not. When it comes to anything for spiritual balance, you must surrender yourself completely. Once you admit to something, you past through the fluff and reach the core. You must work from the inside first then work your way out. To admit to something does not mean revealing how vulnerable you are, admitting shows how committed you are to work towards something better.


LOVE:

"A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life."

The four letter words that has no concrete definition gets me every time. It holds different meanings to different people in different situations that can be used at different times. Like many people, past relationships revises a persons list of what they want in a significant other and teaches a person of what to do better in the current or next relationship. I on one hand have often drowned myself not in the love of a man but in the love of my work. Then just when I find that the water is slowly draining out of my love life, I try to take a deep plunge back in order to refill it. Although, sometimes it's not that easy because when you take a plunge or drown yourself in anything for the love of it, you sometimes lose yourself. Sometimes you are just too far from shore and are stuck in the current, you find yourself alone with no one to rescue you and you find yourself thinking that drowning is the only option you have. When it comes to love of anything, don't drown yourself in it but soak in it. Things are not meant to consume you, they are merely meant to be additions to your life.

I know that love is tricky for everyone because everyone has their own reasons of why they haven't reached their happily ever after yet...but what I realized from watching the movie is that when it comes to love, many people are afraid. They withhold themselves to become emotionally involved because they don't want to set themselves for heartbreak, they believe that by being cautious...it will prevent them from being hurt. However not only do you withhold your heart and self, you withhold yourself from other possibilities...like lessons, people, and life. Sooner or later, you will learn that without love, you'll have no depth in life. The love for something is all in the risk and being hurt is just one of them. To be hurt is a part of love and love is a part of life. Gilbert has said in the book, "this is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something." I'd rather to have tried for something then accept the fact of the what ifs because I did nothing.


The movie had really taught me more about myself and what I need to do in order to be who I want to become. With all that said, go and watch the movie and be inspired. I hope that it will help you see things in a better perspective.


"People tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will descend like fine weather if you're fortunate. But happiness is the result of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly."

Letter 3: Former Love

Dear Ex,

Let me just start off by saying that you were everything I knew for so long and even though we are not together anymore, a part of me still loves you. I look back at the time that we were given and it amazes me how much we have been through. Sometimes I feel that the things that we have experienced were granted too early and we tended to not be so appreciative. Since we've parted, I feel like I have nothing left to give. I feel like a tin man wishing for something to return my ability to feel.

We fought, we made up, and had such great love. You were the first person that I could ever see myself marrying. We talked about how we were going to save for a house and how we were going to to have a family. How we were going to raise our kids around sports and academics and how it would just be us...till death do us part. You were the love of my life.

The day that I decided to walk away from you completely, the one thing that I was so grateful for was learning how to love unconditionally. Through all the mistakes that I have committed and with everything you have put me through, we stuck it out and we blew people away by surviving as long as we did. Although we don't talk, I hope that if we ever bump into each other down the road that you can acknowledge me. You know that all you have to do is shoot me a glance and I'll know what your heart is trying to say. After all, we were a big part of each other's lives.

You are a great man and I hope that you find what you were looking for. I wish nothing but happiness and success in all that you do. We have different lives now and we often believed that things happened for a reason. I think that we needed each other in order to learn about life and in order to grow up. Without you, I could not be the strong person that I'am today. I hope that the next girl that you fall for treats you better than I did and loves you for all that you are.

The part of me that still loves you is a part that loves you for the relationship because it taught me how love should feel. I love you for the heartache because it taught me how to mend a broken heart. Last but not least...I love you most of all for the memories...some of my best ones were only great because I wouldn't have wanted to spend it with anyone else but you.

I guess what they say is true, the hottest love also has the coldest ending.


my best,
B

Steadily Beating

Because here I'am.
As my my mind is racing faster than established thoughts,
My body is tired yet my heart is breaking.
Slowly. But surely it is.
I feel as if I'm screaming at the top of my lungs yet no ones bothers to lift their head to look.
To look at the girl that once helped people up after a fall
She thought that she was cautious...
But she too
Had.
Fallen.
Yet  no one bothers to care to see if she will be able to get back on her feet.

Fragile to words.
Sensitive to touch.
This girl does not want sympathy.
Don't you dare say that you feel sorry for her.
She is not playing a victim to anything.
She just wants self-assurance.
Assurance that this pain that she feels is only temporary.
Assurance that things will get better.
Assurance that her hard work will pay off.
Assurance that she is worthy of someones love.
Yet no one can assure her of all this but herself.

What is left of my heart?
I think it's still beating.
It beats slowly.
Trying it's best to keep moving.
No! Get off of me.
I don't need resuscitation.
Because my soul knows my life chapters by heart.
It reads:
She had gotten this far without any handouts.
She made something of herself when everyone thought she was nothing.
She has been humble enough to take criticism.
She has taken initiative when everyone else was afraid.
Females rooted for her to fail.
Men underestimated her strength.
The industry slammed its doors in her face.
Yet.....
She has dusted herself off, just to try again.

So although her spirit is a little broken
And there are only fragments left of her heart...
It still beats.
Slowly but surely it still beats.
Slowly but steadily, it still beats.

Love Goes A Long Way (Part 3)

(continued from Part 1, Part 2)

Sara and Chris had a chemistry that was unbeatable, total opposites on the exterior but in sync on the inner. They accepted each others differences because they felt that its was a good thing, that they balanced each other out. However from one disagreement to another, Sara felt that it was just beginning to be too much. Yeah they weren’t official but Chris wanted to have that title.

Sara didn’t want to make such a big commitment because she knew that she wasn’t ready. She did not to make a commitment that she knew she could not fulfill. It was just not fair to the both of them. The rules of dating for Sara and Chris were not structured. Sara felt that she should not restrict Chris from dating other people, after all they did not discuss being exclusive. She on the other hand was not looking to date anyone else because she was too busy trying to get ahead at her job.

One day when Sara was hanging out with Chris, she noticed that his phone kept ringing and beeping. She was never the type to invade someone’s privacy and thought nothing of it. Maybe it’s one of the boys just trying to get him to come out to the bar or maybe his homegirl got some man issues and needs his advice. The beeps and rings just became too obvious when they hung out time and time again. She felt it cut away from their quality time. She finally asked Chris why his phone was blowing up off the hook and he told her that it was just a friend but she knew that he was lying because his eyes were so transparent.

Chris finally confessed to Sara one night that he was seeing some other girl, Tina. She put two and two together, it was the same girl that was blowing up his facebook. She knew that she could not hold anything against him because she knew that they weren’t official and Chris was a grown man, he knew what was right from wrong. However as the months went on, it just became too much. Tina started to make it obvious, she wanted something more and Sara did not want to give Chris an ultimatum because if he knew what he wanted, she did not have to persuade him to continue things with her. Sara became frustrated after a while because she felt as if she was being attacked by Tina. Tina had voiced that she wanted to kill Sara because Chris was spending so much time with her. As Sara threw her bag she said, “Did you sleep with her?” Chris never saw this side of Sara but couldn’t blame her for being angry. “Yes, I did but only once and I swear it didn’t mean anything. I promise.” Sara walked out of Chris’ apartment because she needed to think things through to avoid acting irrational.

“Don’t leave me, I don’t want to lose you,” Chris said. Sara stared at the car floor as they discussed the issue, “But Chris, you can’t have the both of us and if you really know what you want, you’ll make your decision and I’ll totally support it.” It was not fair to anyone because emotions were already involved. “You’re all I want. I don’t care about her because I’m in love with you.” Sara looked over and told him that he should not use the four letter word unless he knew the true meaning of it. “Sara, I’m the one that wants a commitment from you; I’m in love with you. I think you are the one for me.” Sara felt that she needed to put her guard down and let this love happen. She believed that he meant what he said and that they could finally work towards being a real item.


"But I need to stop thinkin', contemplatin', be a man and get it over with."

Lawmakers Talk One On One With Hawaii’s Homeless

Lawmakers were in downtown Honolulu Monday morning, talking with some of Hawaii’s homeless to find viable solutions to reduce homeless numbers in Hawaii. They are suggesting several ways to help Hawaii’s homeless get back on their feet.

Some lawmakers believe that a designated safe zone for the homeless would provide a safe supervised night area. Representative Rida Cabanilla believes that the Aala Park should be considered as one of the safe zones since it previously used as one during the Fasi administration.

Cabanilla thinks that homeless that are mentally ill or battling drug problems are at the most risk. She and other lawmakers are looking to adopt other successful programs from cities like New York and Chicago to help chronic homelessness.

“Just because they are saying no or they have this attitude the first time, that doesn’t mean that you abandon them. You put out more social workers and you give more resources so that you can eventually get to them because some of them have mental issues or drug addictions and they are not going to be convinced overnight,” said Senator Wil Espero.

Lisa Beth Roberts has been homeless for a couple of years. She has tried to get back on her feet several times. She said that she has experienced corruption in shelters and thinks that there aren’t enough government resources to turn to.

“You can’t box anyone into a single you know form or format. Everybody is different. Everybody comes from different walks of life but we are all the same. We are all human beings and we just need help. Sometimes it’s hard to ask for help and sometimes you have to humble yourself but then a lot of times when you do ask, nobody hears and that’s what’s frustrating,” said Roberts.

Espero said that not only are lawmakers looking at safe zones but are also looking at other innovative ways to help house the homeless.

“We are still going to be pushing for tent cities and safe zones…If a land owner has a rental for example and we identify a working homeless family...if they can rent that to the working homeless family, we may be able to give a tax break where they don't have to pay the general excise tax on that rental,” said Espero.

Representative Cabanilla said that lawmakers have suggested affordable housing to be built in places such as Mililani and Hawaii Kai but have received negative community feedback. Another option that lawmakers have considered is reuniting homeless people with family members on the mainland. Many of these options will be proposed and discussed at the next legislative session.

“If we properly address the homeless situation in our state, everyone wins,” said Representative John Mizuno. “This will reduce the costs to our taxpayers and reduce the number of homeless in our state.”

This is my work and you can see additional coverage of this story at Hawaii News Now.

"Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive."

– Josephine Hart

Still Standing

I swear that trash talking has elevated since social networking has been a way of communication. People that can’t say things to your face create post status updates for their whole social network to see. Have you ever experienced that? Where you know that it’s targeted towards you because who else would be their ex? or who else have they been dating? or who else have they been having disagreements with? Some say that they keep their stuff generic and then people take it personal. However, how can it be generic when there is a connotation or a word that has your name written all over it?

What’s worse is that there are friends that comment on that status update only to add to the bulk of trash talk yet they only know one-side of the story. People like that just have no class because even though as we get older, we are suppose to know better—those people still have the mentality of a grade school kid because they want to tell everyone their personal business. Who talks smack about their ex? About their baby mama? About their baby daddy? About an ex friend? About an enemy? If the incident happened so long ago and that person says that they have moved on then why these posts? Maybe they need some support to justify their actions or maybe they want to shed the light of them being the "better" person. Some may say that this blog is a contradiction of this post. However,  I  have never named anyone and I simply keep it generic to the point where anyone can relate to the posts. That is the difference.

So what if you see status updates of: “He didn’t pay child support today,” “She was late to pick up our baby,” “She is a psycho ex, I want to delete her out of my life,” “He is such a bad boyfriend, he treats me so bad.” Before you go agreeing on someone’s post because you know the logistics of the dilemma why don’t you step back and not be the naïve person that you will be when you comment on that status. Because did you know he used to hit her? That she called his new girl because someone anonymously texted her? That he up and left her after she lost their baby? That she was caught up in an over-time shift? That maybe it’s because he was saving up to buy the bike that your son has always wanted? Just remember that there are always two-sides to a story so don’t be so quick to jump the gun.

Unlike some people, my friends tell me straight when I’ll be acting a fool, when I have given someone more chances than deserved and tell me what’s best for both people in the conflicted situation even if it means not getting what I thought was suitable. Just remember you cannot control what a person does but you can control how you react. So when someone has something bad to say about you on the internet or to your face, let them do what they have to do to make them feel adequate with their lives.

Let them tell their entire friends list of the wrongs that you have done or lies about you. You know the truth, you know what happened and you don’t need to parade around for anyone because you don’t owe anyone anything, you only owe it to yourself to be the better person. Let them call you names because people that spend so much time talking about situations that don’t directly involve them, just shows you that they love concentrating on other people’s faults instead of trying to improve their own personal demons. Let them say that you are pulling the victim card because the true meaning of acting like a victim, seem to fit the criteria of telling the whole world that they were done wrong by a person's actions just so that they can receive sympathy from the people that are willing to listen. We are too old to be pointing fingers and to be playing the blame game. Come on now. Accept what has happened and move on because the more you talk about it, the more you concentrate on it, the more it shows that you are not over it.

I don't know all the lessons of life but I know this: Life is too short to be concentrating on the bad things that has happened to you in life or the people that have betrayed you. You shouldn't be concentrating on something that is counter-productive. Ignore the noise so that you can concentrate on the melody. People come and go while life shifts you up and down. Things happen for a reason and it is all up to you on how you adjust.


..."I been through the storm. Had dirt on my name. I'm still holding on, champion of the game.Whatever don't kill you make you stronger...See I done a whole lotta growin'. You can bet your last that my head won't hit the floor. never, and I'm still standing"...

Freshman Mentoring Program Launches At Roosevelt High

Over 300 incoming freshmen at Roosevelt High School were greeted with a special program on their first day of school. The high school started a mentoring program called Ignition. It's used to help incoming freshmen into high school.

Roosevelt High School counselor, Terry Malterre says the program has been used in other states and has shown a high success rate. It not only helps with the high school transition but has also increased a school's overall academic performance.

"We really want them to make a connection with somebody at school and usually if they come to high school, they don't know anybody. So if we can hook them up with one upperclassman through the year then at least they'll have one connection and if they have any other referrals they have to go to, mentors can tell them go to the counselor, go talk to so and so. So it's making a connection with the school and being a part of Roosevelt instead of just being one person," said Malterre

An upperclassman voluntarily signs up to be a mentor and is assigned to a freshmen homeroom class. This group meets twice a week throughout the school year discussing issues ranging from academics to social conflicts. The mentor earns half a credit while being in the program. Knowing how it feels be a freshman, Roosevelt High School senior, Ruth Taketa signed up for the mentorship program to learn leadership skills.

"I hope to teach them you know to get involved in school activities. Don't be shy. Just do a lot of extra-curricular. Don't just be nothing in high school. Do a lot of sports, clubs because that's what's really fun you know. High school's really short. The more activities you do, the more fun you'll have," said Taketa.

The first day of the program kicked off with a ropes course, school tour, and scavenger hunt. As a way to engage the entire high school, the obstacle course was created by Roosevelt's building and construction academy. Incoming freshman, Jordan Montalbo said that one of the things that she was scared of was not being able to fit in.

"All of these activities have to do with diversity, respect, working together, teamwork. As a freshman, I really think that [the program] really does help. This program will help all the students to know that there are a lot of different students and everything…how to get along with each other no matter how different everyone is," said Taketa

Montalbo said that being shy, walking into the wrong classroom and having other students not liking her would be one of the many things that she would have to encounter as a new student on campus. Thanks to her mentor, she is looking forward to her first year of high school.

"The activities and the mentors, they are like really sweet and they helped me get through a lot of things today…they just made me feel normal," said Montalbo

Malterre hopes that this program will increase the school's attendance, graduation rate and will also encourage more students to attend college.

This is my work and you can see additional coverage of this story at Hawaii News Now.

"They just leave. They always leave. Without any trace, without any explanation. & in turn, we make all of these silly excuses for them. Maybe they’re just too busy. Maybe they’re going through too much to make any kind of commitment. Maybe it’s just part of their nature… that they’re all like this. They lie. They cheat. They need excitement all of the time because the chase is all they ever really wanted & they’re just too easily attracted to the things that catch their eyes so they move on without any regret or second thought. We instill these thoughts into our minds because anger is the only way to get over them. Yet, we research them, observe their every move, look for any kind of sign that maybe, just maybe they’ve had a single thought of us & if we’re lucky, they’ll come back.

But more than anything we do all of these things because our biggest fear is that we were never good enough & that there was nothing we could do to fulfill the things that they wanted. It was our nature, it was my nature, not theirs… to be left behind.

I can’t wait for the day one of them proves me wrong."

--Timirose

Championship Swimmer’s Recovery Makes Strides

A high-school champion swimmer is sitting up and smiling after his horrific fall in June. Hawaii News Now caught up with the swimmer of what he could remember when he was injured in Samoa and about his rehabilitation progress.

16-year-old Daren Choi flew to Western Samoa to compete in the 8th annual Oceania Swimming Championships. He earned three medals and was the most decorated individual Hawaii swimmer among competitors from 13 different countries. He and the rest of the Kamehameha Swim Club wanted to enjoy the rest of their stay in Samoa and sailed to Savaii Island on a sightseeing tour.

Choi remembers climbing among rocks with some of his team members to reach a freshwater cave. Just when they knew that they were too high up from the ground and were going the wrong way, he placed all of his weight on a dead tree trunk, giving way to his 15-foot fall.

“I saw the water when I flipped so I immediately knew that I had to cover my head, because I knew there was coral down there. I thought that I covered my head and then when I was in the water, I like tried to move but I couldn’t move my whole body so I was like freaking out. I thought that I was going to die right there and drown but luckily my friends were there to help me and pull me back out,” said Choi.

Tired from all of the transporting and scared that he could not move his body, Choi’s heart dropped and was devastated when he found out that the daily boat that travels from Savaii to Samoa had already left for the day, leaving Choi overnight on the island without a proper medical facility.

Back at home Daren’s father, Derrick, remembers when he heard that Daren had fractured sections of his spine. Doctors told Derrick that his son may have to stay in New Zealand for a month or two, forcing him and his wife to relentlessly think of ways to travel overseas. In tremendous pain, Daren yearned to talk to his family for some support.

“I think the first time I talked to my dad was when they transported me back to Western Samoa and I got on the phone with him and immediately, I broke out in tears because I couldn't hold it in,” he said.

Derrick remembers saying hello and hearing his son cry. Since Daren was advised not to move, Derrick remembers trying to comfort his son while being thousands of miles away. The news about the accident spread to family and friends the Chois were overwhelmed by the love and support.

Still wearing a steel halo, Daren says that he could not have made it this far without his support system of family, friends, coaches and swim team family. Hawaii’s state swimming championships were in June and the entire team wore a special cap in spirit of their recovering team mate. In Japanese tradition, it is said that by folding a thousand origami cranes it helps a person’s recovery process. His team mates folded and framed a thousand cranes, arranging the cranes to form the swim clubs symbol. Daren sees it every day in his rehabilitation room as a reminder to keep pushing.

One doctor told Daren that he may never walk again and Daren says he has used the doctor’s scary diagnosis as motivation.

“I try not to think of him because it kind of brings me down but I always keep it as motivation, you know like to prove him wrong. I want to go back [to him] and like shake his hand and say what now.”
As hard as it is to continue his rehab exercises, Daren says that he is continuing to keep his head up in order to get back in the water to swim.

“It’s pretty much my life you know. I love it. I love the sport. I love to race, you know just getting back out there with my friends. Racing against the big dogs and everything, I love it.”

Photo Courtesy of Daren Choi

Daren’s medical bills has exceeded more than $100,000. Choi’s family and friends have organized fundraiser benefits to help alleviate the costs. A Zippy’s fundraiser on behalf of Daren will start on August 15th. Several swimmers will be out in front of Don Quijote selling $7 tickets. To reserve to tickets, you can email Dane Kawamoto at swimmersfordarenchoi@yahoo.com. A family fun day will be held on August 21st at the Momilani Community Center from 9:00 AM to 3:00 PM. The Kamehameha Swim Club have also set up an account, “KSC Friends of Daren Choi” at First Hawaiian Bank.

This is my work and you can see additional coverage of this story at Hawaii News Now.