I can't help but look into those eyes of yours. The same eyes that has raised my heart to new heights but at the same time has shattered it in mid-flight. The past is something that we both can't change but I guess when we decided to go on this unexpected adventure, you could not ease your grip on that piece of baggage that you carry.
Lord knows how hard I've tried.
I'm torn because I want us to work. I want us to live this lifetime being together. I know that life will put us on a roller coaster of a ride but a part of me believes that if we are together, we can make that ride worthwhile...that together we can conquer the world.
As much as I want that to be our reality, a part of me wants us to move on because I shouldn't have to persuade you. If your heart is not in it then there is really nothing that I can do. I shouldn't have to make exceptions because I'm in love with you. If you want me in your life, you'll make the effort to keep me. No matter how much we grow, you remind me how we just aren't going to work. We will continue to make excuses for things that we can't wholeheartedly confront .
The moment you looked into my eyes and told me you that you loved me but wasn't in love...as much as I want to forget it, it replays over and over in my head as my heart slowly disintegrates. I guess I'm puzzled because I played by all the rules and gave everything that was left in me yet I still wasn't good enough for you.
I've never loved anyone as much as I've loved you. Although as we close this chapter of our lives, I know that you'll never find someone that will love you as much as I do. My heart would take a bullet for you, it's just sad to know that right now with all this heartache...you are behind the trigger.
I know we hold on to each other because we are comfortable and we are aligned on so many levels. However, maybe we are the right people but at the wrong time. We will never know. Even though this may be hard for us to do, it's time we face reality and let go. But I guess with us, the hardest thing in life is letting go of what you thought was real.
...."Tell me who I have to be to get some reciprocity...See I know what we've got to do, You let go and I'll let go too."...
Showing posts with label Wo/Man Up Please. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Wo/Man Up Please. Show all posts
Friday, December 14, 2012
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Copy Cat
There will always be people that will try and take credit for your ideas and work. However, don't let it get to you because you know the truth.
People like that are just fascinated at the risks you take because unlike them you put accountability for the words that you speak.
People that are constantly in search for recognition obviously care too much of what people think. People like that lack initiative, innovation and hard work. You do it for the love of it and most importantly you do it for yourself.
Be flattered that someone is watching your next move. Consider it your sense of paying it forward to people that need a boost of confidence to their ego.
Do what you have always been doing; DOING YOU.
People like that are just fascinated at the risks you take because unlike them you put accountability for the words that you speak.
People that are constantly in search for recognition obviously care too much of what people think. People like that lack initiative, innovation and hard work. You do it for the love of it and most importantly you do it for yourself.
Be flattered that someone is watching your next move. Consider it your sense of paying it forward to people that need a boost of confidence to their ego.
Let those people do what they have to do in order for them to feel adequate about their lives.
Do what you have always been doing; DOING YOU.
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."
#truth
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Stay Hungry
"You better stand for something or you will fall for anything." Too many times people would rather sit on the sidelines and have other people make the plays; people that would rather sit in the passengers seat and grant others the control over their destination when WE ALL should take fate by the neck and show it who is boss.
..."Let the sun shine on your face and don't let your life go to waste. Now is the time, got to make up your mind. Let it shine on you."...
I’ve seen it happen to some of the best and I’m not going to lie, I’ve been through it. Sometimes I’ve gone down without a fight and have bitten my tongue just to save myself from strain. However, we all know that life will never be easy and shouldn't be submissive to something that we strongly believe in especially when it comes to our happiness. Plateaus in life are usually lessons of needed change in disguise and we don’t want to be the ones that are disappointed because we had given up right before the breakthrough.
I know a lot of people that are not afraid to work hard for what they want but are standing around for an opportunity to come knocking on the front door. However if we want something so bad, we need to go and get it. If we want something done right, we have to do them ourselves. We shouldn’t wait because people that wait will only be given what was left behind by others that didn’t settle.
You are worth only as much as YOU say you are. You can rely on luck or you can get up off of your behind and align your own stars. You may be taking a risk by standing up but you may never know the results of the "what ifs" if you don't do anything. You can either be the pessimist that complains about the wind, be the optimist that expects the wind to change or you can be the realist that adjusts the sails to waters of ideal conditions.
The power of our imaginations and our desires is what makes us infinite. So do what your heart desires and what your soul yearns. Do what you think is right. When you taste the fruits of your own labor, you'll never taste anything sweeter. I'm at a point where I'm trying to search for my life's purpose and I know that this time around that my purpose is not to synthesize with the rest of the band or by audience requests but to solely live to the beat of my own drum.
In life you have to stay hungry because closed mouths don’t get fed.
The power of our imaginations and our desires is what makes us infinite. So do what your heart desires and what your soul yearns. Do what you think is right. When you taste the fruits of your own labor, you'll never taste anything sweeter. I'm at a point where I'm trying to search for my life's purpose and I know that this time around that my purpose is not to synthesize with the rest of the band or by audience requests but to solely live to the beat of my own drum.
In life you have to stay hungry because closed mouths don’t get fed.
..."Let the sun shine on your face and don't let your life go to waste. Now is the time, got to make up your mind. Let it shine on you."...
Monday, September 26, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
Your Motivation
It takes an understanding person to correlate where a person is presently and where they want to eventually be. Understanding what details it entails to get there; even it means sacrificing your relationship with that person will be the deciding factor of who really believed in you and what they were willing to do to see you get there. As a significant other, you witness a side that is exclusively shared behind closed doors.
I've always said that a man with a plan is sexy. Being confident in a proposition is commendable in some aspect but being able to defend criticism with a uncanning rebuttal will exhibit just how much work you have put in. Like one of my friends Jozen had once said, "I'm a big supporter of free speech but I also believe in being accountable for the speech you speak." Not only is it fascinating to watch just how passionate a man can be about where he believes he is destined to be but it is also astonishing to see just how much they will endure to arrive there both mentally, physically and emotionally.
I've always believed that as a woman that you should contribute to your man's foundation. To be there to support him in every way possible but to also keep him in check; to remind him of his humble beginnings and to be there to extract the superficial from his true self. I also believe that as a woman, that you should also assist him by preparing him for the unfavorable inevitable. It is not to demolish his courageous drive but to strengthen the anticipation of the unpredictable journey that lies ahead.
So baby...I'll be here to help pick up the pieces after your hard day so that you can get yourself together to face tomorrow. It doesn't matter how many rounds we have to tolerate, I'll be there till the last second of each one because I'll always be loyal, your #1 fan. I'll be there to resuscitate you when you feel like your life has been consumed by all that doubted. I'll be there to believe in you and all that you desire to be; and I'll do this not because it is required of me but because I have faith in the talents that you posses. Just as much as you yearn to show the world what you are capable of, I want the world to see the reasons why I love you. So even if it means giving up our love so that you can attain your life long dream, I'm willing to do whatever it takes because in the end, I can only hope that you would love me enough to do the same.
..."you're almost there. You can do it, I believe in you baby. So close from here, baby I’ma be your motivation"...
I've always said that a man with a plan is sexy. Being confident in a proposition is commendable in some aspect but being able to defend criticism with a uncanning rebuttal will exhibit just how much work you have put in. Like one of my friends Jozen had once said, "I'm a big supporter of free speech but I also believe in being accountable for the speech you speak." Not only is it fascinating to watch just how passionate a man can be about where he believes he is destined to be but it is also astonishing to see just how much they will endure to arrive there both mentally, physically and emotionally.
I've always believed that as a woman that you should contribute to your man's foundation. To be there to support him in every way possible but to also keep him in check; to remind him of his humble beginnings and to be there to extract the superficial from his true self. I also believe that as a woman, that you should also assist him by preparing him for the unfavorable inevitable. It is not to demolish his courageous drive but to strengthen the anticipation of the unpredictable journey that lies ahead.
So baby...I'll be here to help pick up the pieces after your hard day so that you can get yourself together to face tomorrow. It doesn't matter how many rounds we have to tolerate, I'll be there till the last second of each one because I'll always be loyal, your #1 fan. I'll be there to resuscitate you when you feel like your life has been consumed by all that doubted. I'll be there to believe in you and all that you desire to be; and I'll do this not because it is required of me but because I have faith in the talents that you posses. Just as much as you yearn to show the world what you are capable of, I want the world to see the reasons why I love you. So even if it means giving up our love so that you can attain your life long dream, I'm willing to do whatever it takes because in the end, I can only hope that you would love me enough to do the same.
..."you're almost there. You can do it, I believe in you baby. So close from here, baby I’ma be your motivation"...
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
A Girls Intuition
I just don't get it. When guys lie to us females. I've always said that a girls intuition is stronger than a man's because it is an instinct that is a part of our nature. The females that I run with are very observant, mindful and are debatable. So when guys try to lie, they are just wasting their time. A girls intuition is something that should not be reckoned with.
Sometimes it makes me wonder about guys that think that they can run game or blatantly tell a white or half lie. Guys like that may think that we nice women are gullible and are fools but don't you worry; in the end we will have the last laugh because we have seen it all to many times. Some guys boast that they can blind side women with their ways but what those guys don't know is that we see right through them and we see it as this: just a different competitor with a play that is about to get juked.
So guys be mindful of this. When you run something and us women don't give you crap about it, don't be so quick to celebrate with your boys--just so that you can tell them just how you big of a man you are for getting away with it. Because inside we are laughing at the fact that you think we are so naive not to think things through. And if we ask you something that hits a nerve of yours, don't get so irritated because smart women don't just conjure up stories just for fun or just so that they can add a little drama to make the relationship interesting; women ask because they don't want to assume. What guys need to realize is that women are like the police, we can have all the evidence in the world but we still want a confession.
It is not that we are monitoring you, it is just a different story when you try to the test the mutual trust of the relationship. When guys lie, it is a sign of disrespect because you would think that anyone in general would be adult enough to tell you the truth. So when us females ask you a question, don't give us an alibi. Tell us what really went down. Lies don't end a relationship, usually the truth does but if you got enough time to compose a lie then the obvious truth is, you can't deal with the actuality of your actions.
So let's keep it real. If you are not real with yourself then you don't deserve to be with someone that has been nothing but honest with you. So boys don't test a woman's intuition because it is as if you are trying to substantiate their intelligence. And just because you got away with things in the past, don't underestimate...because the love that she has for you, it will trump over yours. Just when you thought that she won't sense a thing, love always has a way of catching up to lies and when the time comes, your lies won't be able to look her straight in the eyes.
Sometimes it makes me wonder about guys that think that they can run game or blatantly tell a white or half lie. Guys like that may think that we nice women are gullible and are fools but don't you worry; in the end we will have the last laugh because we have seen it all to many times. Some guys boast that they can blind side women with their ways but what those guys don't know is that we see right through them and we see it as this: just a different competitor with a play that is about to get juked.
So guys be mindful of this. When you run something and us women don't give you crap about it, don't be so quick to celebrate with your boys--just so that you can tell them just how you big of a man you are for getting away with it. Because inside we are laughing at the fact that you think we are so naive not to think things through. And if we ask you something that hits a nerve of yours, don't get so irritated because smart women don't just conjure up stories just for fun or just so that they can add a little drama to make the relationship interesting; women ask because they don't want to assume. What guys need to realize is that women are like the police, we can have all the evidence in the world but we still want a confession.
It is not that we are monitoring you, it is just a different story when you try to the test the mutual trust of the relationship. When guys lie, it is a sign of disrespect because you would think that anyone in general would be adult enough to tell you the truth. So when us females ask you a question, don't give us an alibi. Tell us what really went down. Lies don't end a relationship, usually the truth does but if you got enough time to compose a lie then the obvious truth is, you can't deal with the actuality of your actions.
So let's keep it real. If you are not real with yourself then you don't deserve to be with someone that has been nothing but honest with you. So boys don't test a woman's intuition because it is as if you are trying to substantiate their intelligence. And just because you got away with things in the past, don't underestimate...because the love that she has for you, it will trump over yours. Just when you thought that she won't sense a thing, love always has a way of catching up to lies and when the time comes, your lies won't be able to look her straight in the eyes.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Not That Girl
As much as you got me smitten and as much as you got me high on cloud nine, I'm just not going to be that girl. Despite our relationship and our circumstances, I'm just not going to be that girl. Wondering if you are thinking about me or worrying if I'm doing things right, I'm just not going to be that girl. When you don't text back or answer my calls, I'm not going to be that girl that starts thinking wild visions in my head of you being intimate with someone else.
So you did me wrong and broke my heart but I'm just not going to be that girl that will take all that you have just to empower myself. I'm not going to be that girl that will destroy your possessions just so that you can see how much rage I have inside. So do both of us a favor and save your breath baby because I refuse to be that girl that soaks up all that you say. I'm not going to put you on blast for everyone to see; just so that they know the severity of your mistake because I'm mature enough not to be that girl.
I'm not going to be that girl that let's you take advantage of me. Of course I love doing nice things for you but I'm not going to be that girl that will tend to your needs at your convenience or command. So when your nights seem cold and you are lonely, think again because I'm not that girl that will fill your void. And yes, I know the girl you did me wrong with is pretty but I'm sorry; I'm not going be that girl full of insecurities.
There are great people all around me and life is too short. With that said, I'm not going to be that girl that goes to her friends with the same broken-record love story. I'm not going to be that girl that let's a guy take all of the good away from her. I'm not going to the that girl that will give you more chances. I'm just not that girl that says it but doesn't do anything about it. I will not be that girl that allows a man to take away her dignity.
Everything you think I am, I'm sorry if I don't live up to your expectations; quite frankly I'm just not going to be that girl...you know why? because I'm better than that.
..."I see it your eyes, can't say that I'm surprised, I'm not that girl."...
So you did me wrong and broke my heart but I'm just not going to be that girl that will take all that you have just to empower myself. I'm not going to be that girl that will destroy your possessions just so that you can see how much rage I have inside. So do both of us a favor and save your breath baby because I refuse to be that girl that soaks up all that you say. I'm not going to put you on blast for everyone to see; just so that they know the severity of your mistake because I'm mature enough not to be that girl.
I'm not going to be that girl that let's you take advantage of me. Of course I love doing nice things for you but I'm not going to be that girl that will tend to your needs at your convenience or command. So when your nights seem cold and you are lonely, think again because I'm not that girl that will fill your void. And yes, I know the girl you did me wrong with is pretty but I'm sorry; I'm not going be that girl full of insecurities.
There are great people all around me and life is too short. With that said, I'm not going to be that girl that goes to her friends with the same broken-record love story. I'm not going to be that girl that let's a guy take all of the good away from her. I'm not going to the that girl that will give you more chances. I'm just not that girl that says it but doesn't do anything about it. I will not be that girl that allows a man to take away her dignity.
Everything you think I am, I'm sorry if I don't live up to your expectations; quite frankly I'm just not going to be that girl...you know why? because I'm better than that.
..."I see it your eyes, can't say that I'm surprised, I'm not that girl."...
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
This Is My Confession...
I don't have a lot of sand in my hour glass babe. I over stuff every pocket I have, I'm always running on E and my stomach is never satisfied but hungry for more. So let's not sugar coat anything, let's cut the chase and let's do things the way we have always done it - STRAIGHT raw. This is becoming ridiculously redundant and honestly, we have better things to be working on with people that truly matter to us.
So let me air it and lay it out for you. This may be much for you but I have to be true to myself and admit this out loud. I like you and I care for you. I know that you know, yet we casually bring it up and go on like nothing was ever mentioned. We say that we want to live in the moment, create more moments yet never lose these moments. Although, these emotions that I have contradict what what we say yet encourage my gestures. All I really want to do is kick it with you, to compliment you, to be enough for you.
I don't expect anything but honesty yet it seems that I can't trust myself with you. My intuition has never failed me and yet here I am telling it to kick rocks when deep down inside I know that it's just trying to warn me for what's ahead. I know you feel like I'll never catch on but I have to give you a round of applause because your performance is a show that I've seen before. Like when you whisper little somethings in my ear to get me going. I'll admit that they are pretty slick but just know that those lines are empty nothings that I find amusing because you can't fool a girl that has already mastered those plays. There are things that can play with my mind but I'll never let anyone compromise my dignity for their own self-assurance. Baby, you are feeding me a dish of bull because to you I'm just miss "right now." But I'll reiterate this right now; I'm the miss that is right-headed enough to say these things vociferously without personal anguish.
I've never asked you to dish a dime but to just spend time. I relentlessly work hard to be the best that I can be and I want you to see that. I want you to acknowledge the fact that I'm not one of those girls that will be stuck on stupid and pause their lives because of love. I want you to absorb that I'm a woman that is doing what she loves, that is high on life, discovering the world, and meeting new people..yet anxiously awaiting to come home to you - a reputable man that loves her.
So yes, commitment may have been a relevant issue but the only thing that I want babe is for you to commit to the nurturing aspect of this relationship. We may not ever end up together but I want us to become a cultivation of knowledge and experience so that we not only help or learn from each other; but feed off the force of inspiration that only comes alive because we are a part of each others lives.
With these words my love, please excuse the magnitude-- I just wanted to get this off my chest. It's better to reveal a taste of what is going on inside then regret words that I never had the encourage to utter. So if this is too much for you I totally understand because with or without you...baby, the show must go on. So for the sake of you and I, don't waste my time, respect my mind, and understand my grind.
I can only hope that you are truly the man that I've always pictured you to be.
So let me air it and lay it out for you. This may be much for you but I have to be true to myself and admit this out loud. I like you and I care for you. I know that you know, yet we casually bring it up and go on like nothing was ever mentioned. We say that we want to live in the moment, create more moments yet never lose these moments. Although, these emotions that I have contradict what what we say yet encourage my gestures. All I really want to do is kick it with you, to compliment you, to be enough for you.
I don't expect anything but honesty yet it seems that I can't trust myself with you. My intuition has never failed me and yet here I am telling it to kick rocks when deep down inside I know that it's just trying to warn me for what's ahead. I know you feel like I'll never catch on but I have to give you a round of applause because your performance is a show that I've seen before. Like when you whisper little somethings in my ear to get me going. I'll admit that they are pretty slick but just know that those lines are empty nothings that I find amusing because you can't fool a girl that has already mastered those plays. There are things that can play with my mind but I'll never let anyone compromise my dignity for their own self-assurance. Baby, you are feeding me a dish of bull because to you I'm just miss "right now." But I'll reiterate this right now; I'm the miss that is right-headed enough to say these things vociferously without personal anguish.
I've never asked you to dish a dime but to just spend time. I relentlessly work hard to be the best that I can be and I want you to see that. I want you to acknowledge the fact that I'm not one of those girls that will be stuck on stupid and pause their lives because of love. I want you to absorb that I'm a woman that is doing what she loves, that is high on life, discovering the world, and meeting new people..yet anxiously awaiting to come home to you - a reputable man that loves her.
So yes, commitment may have been a relevant issue but the only thing that I want babe is for you to commit to the nurturing aspect of this relationship. We may not ever end up together but I want us to become a cultivation of knowledge and experience so that we not only help or learn from each other; but feed off the force of inspiration that only comes alive because we are a part of each others lives.
With these words my love, please excuse the magnitude-- I just wanted to get this off my chest. It's better to reveal a taste of what is going on inside then regret words that I never had the encourage to utter. So if this is too much for you I totally understand because with or without you...baby, the show must go on. So for the sake of you and I, don't waste my time, respect my mind, and understand my grind.
I can only hope that you are truly the man that I've always pictured you to be.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Be True To You
You sit on the floor in the midst of it all, questioning yourself because...
He cheated on your heart.
She left you and won't come back.
He took advantage of you or she doesn't seem to notice you.
I know that smile you put on is to disguise the pain.
But babe, don't let that gloomy feeling consume you.
Don't let that feeling force you to re-evaluate your characteristics because there is nothing wrong with who you are.
Because you should NEVER have to think twice.
Just because one person can't recognize or appreciate you for the wonderful person that you are then baby, it just wasn't meant to be.
Everyone has flaws and imperfections but don't let their criticism taunt you.
Remember my love, it is not about perfection but all about progression.
In this world, genuine people like you are rare.
People will try to influence you and break you down but you don't need to fit into any mold because my love when it comes to you, any industry standard can't compare.
While others see nothing, a special individual will take the time to understand and see just how amazing you are...just like I have.
So love, don't live life by pretending to be something that you aren't because in the end, you will just be fooling yourself.
Even though they abandoned you on that stage to ridicule you, step back and bow out gracefully.
As the curtains close, take a deep breath and pick up the pieces of your heart during this intermission..
And tell yourself this:
Don't let heartbreak or a mistake phase you and don't ever think that you are never good enough.
You are a shining light baby, some people just can't handle the glare.
It's not about the amount of falls that we endure, it's all about the amount of times that we get back up to continue this journey called life.
To admit that you are hurting is not a sign of weakness but a sign that you are human...
A sign that you have a heart...a sign that you've let your guard down and have allowed yourself to feel.
So baby go ahead and let out your one last cry.
Cause while others continue to sit amongst the clouds with their bluffs...with the sincerity that you exemplify, baby you'll be beaming above them all.
..."Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart. Tears don't mean you're losing...Just be true to who you are"...
He cheated on your heart.
She left you and won't come back.
He took advantage of you or she doesn't seem to notice you.
I know that smile you put on is to disguise the pain.
But babe, don't let that gloomy feeling consume you.
Don't let that feeling force you to re-evaluate your characteristics because there is nothing wrong with who you are.
Because you should NEVER have to think twice.
Just because one person can't recognize or appreciate you for the wonderful person that you are then baby, it just wasn't meant to be.
Everyone has flaws and imperfections but don't let their criticism taunt you.
Remember my love, it is not about perfection but all about progression.
In this world, genuine people like you are rare.
People will try to influence you and break you down but you don't need to fit into any mold because my love when it comes to you, any industry standard can't compare.
While others see nothing, a special individual will take the time to understand and see just how amazing you are...just like I have.
So love, don't live life by pretending to be something that you aren't because in the end, you will just be fooling yourself.
Even though they abandoned you on that stage to ridicule you, step back and bow out gracefully.
As the curtains close, take a deep breath and pick up the pieces of your heart during this intermission..
And tell yourself this:
Don't let heartbreak or a mistake phase you and don't ever think that you are never good enough.
You are a shining light baby, some people just can't handle the glare.
It's not about the amount of falls that we endure, it's all about the amount of times that we get back up to continue this journey called life.
To admit that you are hurting is not a sign of weakness but a sign that you are human...
A sign that you have a heart...a sign that you've let your guard down and have allowed yourself to feel.
So baby go ahead and let out your one last cry.
Cause while others continue to sit amongst the clouds with their bluffs...with the sincerity that you exemplify, baby you'll be beaming above them all.
..."Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart. Tears don't mean you're losing...Just be true to who you are"...
Friday, February 4, 2011
Runaway Girl
You got the finest things hanging in your closet. You got looks to kill and a brain to outsmart the slickest mastermind but there you go running away. You say that love resides where you are from. That home is where the heart is but why are you off searching for an idea that you can't even grasp, something that is right in front of you? What are your really searching for anyway? You say that you should be allowed to have what your heart desires but really, what does your heart REALLY desire?
Everyone has dreams and we all see that you are trying to make them happen but it seems that you have forgotten about what really matters. You take those pictures to post up for all of your friends to see. You are off "chasing your fate" or that is what you try to tell yourself. You are just running away from your problems. Don't lie and don't front. Stop making excuses for once. "Are you running away for a purpose? Do you even know what your self worth is?"
You got a lot left in you but you are so sure that the grass is greener on the other side. There you go sizing yourself up to every other girl next to you. Yeah, you may not be like those models in those magazines but there is only one you. You downplay yourself too much. It's not being cocky girl, it is knowing that you are deserving. Don't let those fools take advantage of you. Don't pay attention to what the media wants you to be, what others what you to be, what they claim as being beautiful because you got it girl, you got a beautiful side to you. A side that only people with patience are allowed to see. A side that people who really matter are privileged to see.
But then again "the past is what you carry in your purse" and to some extent it's true, "it's a gift and a curse." The past that has made you that much stronger, the past that has made you in the person that you are, the past that had to happen for a reason. Although, that is where you need to stop. The past that you hold on to prohibits you to feel, to love, to trust. You got the mentality that you "want to witness the world." You want to go on adventures, all to find the answers of what the world can offer you. But don't forget who you really are, who you truly are. If you let the world influence you that much then that is where we say, "farewell to the pure, amen I pray." Only to hope that as you get lost in your world full of expectations and fictitious substance that you find your way back. That you find your way back to the place that watched you grow and in the arms of the people that have ALWAYS loved you.
..."You wander the world. You seek what you've lost. You're waking up every day to run away...good bye, good day be on
your way run away girl"...
Everyone has dreams and we all see that you are trying to make them happen but it seems that you have forgotten about what really matters. You take those pictures to post up for all of your friends to see. You are off "chasing your fate" or that is what you try to tell yourself. You are just running away from your problems. Don't lie and don't front. Stop making excuses for once. "Are you running away for a purpose? Do you even know what your self worth is?"
You got a lot left in you but you are so sure that the grass is greener on the other side. There you go sizing yourself up to every other girl next to you. Yeah, you may not be like those models in those magazines but there is only one you. You downplay yourself too much. It's not being cocky girl, it is knowing that you are deserving. Don't let those fools take advantage of you. Don't pay attention to what the media wants you to be, what others what you to be, what they claim as being beautiful because you got it girl, you got a beautiful side to you. A side that only people with patience are allowed to see. A side that people who really matter are privileged to see.
But then again "the past is what you carry in your purse" and to some extent it's true, "it's a gift and a curse." The past that has made you that much stronger, the past that has made you in the person that you are, the past that had to happen for a reason. Although, that is where you need to stop. The past that you hold on to prohibits you to feel, to love, to trust. You got the mentality that you "want to witness the world." You want to go on adventures, all to find the answers of what the world can offer you. But don't forget who you really are, who you truly are. If you let the world influence you that much then that is where we say, "farewell to the pure, amen I pray." Only to hope that as you get lost in your world full of expectations and fictitious substance that you find your way back. That you find your way back to the place that watched you grow and in the arms of the people that have ALWAYS loved you.
..."You wander the world. You seek what you've lost. You're waking up every day to run away...good bye, good day be on
your way run away girl"...
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Assertive "B"
“When I am assertive, I’m a b*tch. When a man is assertive, he’s a boss. He bossed up. No negative connotation behind ‘bossed up.’ But lots of negative connotation behind being a b*tch."
Let's elaborate on this shall we?
- Niki Minaj, MTV Pink Friday Special
Let's elaborate on this shall we?
When a woman is assertive she is not only called the "b" word but is also called many other things with negative connotations to it. There are so many interpretations of how a woman should carry herself but tons of smirks, words spoken under breath and dirty looks when a woman tries to stand up for herself and tries to get the respect that she deserves. We all know that respect is earned but at the same time, you will continue to be treated the way you allow people to treat you.
Know the difference between a woman being assertive because she wants more for herself and knows what she deserves versus a girl impersonating a grown woman, running around acting like she has credentials but has no evidence to support her timeline. I've said it before, a man that is all "bossed up" is a hustler because he reaps the rewards of the game by being assertive and by calling shots. Call a woman a "b" or a diva when she is being assertive but really, she is also a hustler in her own respect. That woman too is also "bossed up" because she sees opportunities and does not need any man to coach her. She takes it upon herself to observe, to work hard and to innovate the traditions of the sport, all to be considered as one of the best within the same playing field and all to beat even the best OGs in the game.
Know the difference between a woman being assertive because she wants more for herself and knows what she deserves versus a girl impersonating a grown woman, running around acting like she has credentials but has no evidence to support her timeline. I've said it before, a man that is all "bossed up" is a hustler because he reaps the rewards of the game by being assertive and by calling shots. Call a woman a "b" or a diva when she is being assertive but really, she is also a hustler in her own respect. That woman too is also "bossed up" because she sees opportunities and does not need any man to coach her. She takes it upon herself to observe, to work hard and to innovate the traditions of the sport, all to be considered as one of the best within the same playing field and all to beat even the best OGs in the game.
..."All my ladies get it up. I see you, I do the same. Take it to another level. No passengers on my plane"...
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Do It Like A Dude
I’m proud to be a female but the one stereotype that I dislike about being one is the fact that women can’t do what men can do. Not to be conceited but I know that I can probably do some things better than some fellas. I just hate it when people dub the females as the weaker gender.
I just had a conversation with a friend last night and he said that women can never have a friends with benefits relationship because women are the ones that are always getting emotionally attached. Now let’s hold up, that may be true to some aspect but I know a handful of independent women that can drop and kick a man to the curb if his performance is not up to par and I know TOO MANY dudes that are worse than some of my girls when it comes to emotional acknowledgement.
Why have males been considered the “stronger” gender anyway? Because society says so? Because by science testosterone is stronger than estrogen? I think differently. I hated it when people called me a tom-boy just because I loved sports, I rather rock jeans and a shirt to school than a dress and because my favorite color was black versus pink. I even remember telling some family friends that I was on my high school wrestling team and having them look at me weird while saying, “wrestling is a boys sport.” And mind you what team won states at our high school? Yes, you guessed it! Moanalua’s female “CAMOGA” wrestling team. You better reckon that I beat all of my close guy friends when it comes to a game of tekken. And you better choose your words wisely if you think that I don’t hustle as hard as them guys.
Little girls should not have the idea that they can’t do something because it is a man’s job. I know that I was told that when I was growing up and was considered a trouble maker because I went against of what a “proper girl should do.” A wise man told me that the strongest people that are in his life are women and that rings true for me too. I think the reason why the strong people in my life are women are because the female gender has evolved to have the ability to endure by means of societal and cultural pressure.
I’m not a feminist, I’m not so quick to diss the male gender by unreasonable means and I know for a fact that there are some women that make other smart and classy females like myself look bad. I just think that us females can strut our swag, kick it down right and roll just like fellas. It really doesn’t matter what gender you are…it’s just all about backing up what we say we can do and out doing what we have previously done in order to refine ourselves.
But don’t get it twisted again because us females can….
“do it like a brotha, do it like a dude...we can do it like the man' dem”
I just had a conversation with a friend last night and he said that women can never have a friends with benefits relationship because women are the ones that are always getting emotionally attached. Now let’s hold up, that may be true to some aspect but I know a handful of independent women that can drop and kick a man to the curb if his performance is not up to par and I know TOO MANY dudes that are worse than some of my girls when it comes to emotional acknowledgement.
Why have males been considered the “stronger” gender anyway? Because society says so? Because by science testosterone is stronger than estrogen? I think differently. I hated it when people called me a tom-boy just because I loved sports, I rather rock jeans and a shirt to school than a dress and because my favorite color was black versus pink. I even remember telling some family friends that I was on my high school wrestling team and having them look at me weird while saying, “wrestling is a boys sport.” And mind you what team won states at our high school? Yes, you guessed it! Moanalua’s female “CAMOGA” wrestling team. You better reckon that I beat all of my close guy friends when it comes to a game of tekken. And you better choose your words wisely if you think that I don’t hustle as hard as them guys.
Little girls should not have the idea that they can’t do something because it is a man’s job. I know that I was told that when I was growing up and was considered a trouble maker because I went against of what a “proper girl should do.” A wise man told me that the strongest people that are in his life are women and that rings true for me too. I think the reason why the strong people in my life are women are because the female gender has evolved to have the ability to endure by means of societal and cultural pressure.
I’m not a feminist, I’m not so quick to diss the male gender by unreasonable means and I know for a fact that there are some women that make other smart and classy females like myself look bad. I just think that us females can strut our swag, kick it down right and roll just like fellas. It really doesn’t matter what gender you are…it’s just all about backing up what we say we can do and out doing what we have previously done in order to refine ourselves.
But don’t get it twisted again because us females can….
“do it like a brotha, do it like a dude...we can do it like the man' dem”
Monday, January 17, 2011
New Year, New Outlook
The announcer reminded the crowd, "15 minutes till midnight!" Sure there were familiar faces at the event but I was on the clock and had no time to socialize. There I was with the camera in hand, snapping photos of people surrounded by the ones that they care about. These party goers were enjoying themselves. Maybe it was the drink specials, the music, the venue, the thousands of people there, the fact that they were there to end an old year and ring in a new one...I'm not too sure what it was but there was good-feel vibe.
As the minutes ticked, I made my way up to the top balcony and sat down for a little. I reviewed the pictures that were on my camera and looked around. There I was by myself for the 3rd year in a row. I thought about how I spent the previous New Years, all of them working. Do I regret it? Not at all but New Years is my favorite holiday and all these years when the clock strikes, I've been spending them alone.
As the announcer shouted, "5 more minutes till 2011!," I took my place with a fellow photographer as we updated our twitter accounts.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
Happy New Year!
As everyone turned to the ones that they loved to say bye to 2010, I could hear murmurs of joy. As my shutter captured New Years kisses and hugs, at midnight for a short three seconds--I closed my eyes and I made a promise to myself. Often times in life, we turn to the ones that we love to celebrate or to confined the happiest and lowest moments of our lives. As I stood there alone while everyone had someone, I told myself this is a new year. No resolutions of eating less junk food, saving money or even weight lost this new year. This year will be a year of gain. A year to gain knowledge, experience, and life lessons. I thought about all of things that I have gone through during 2010 and boy was it a roller coaster. Through the pummels I still had a lot to be proud about. Just finished a Master degree, stronger relationships with the people that I love, new beginnings with people that were placed in my life for a reason and most of all memories that will forever be etched in my heart.
My promise:
To make this year, MY YEAR.
To never give up when times get hard.
To push myself beyond my assumptions.
To make my dreams come true.
And the only way I will be able to do it is if I just be me.
No one will get you to where you want to be but yourself.
"On the road to riches don't forget to stop and take pictures. Cause life ain't about where you finish but what you've learned along the way."
As the minutes ticked, I made my way up to the top balcony and sat down for a little. I reviewed the pictures that were on my camera and looked around. There I was by myself for the 3rd year in a row. I thought about how I spent the previous New Years, all of them working. Do I regret it? Not at all but New Years is my favorite holiday and all these years when the clock strikes, I've been spending them alone.
As the announcer shouted, "5 more minutes till 2011!," I took my place with a fellow photographer as we updated our twitter accounts.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
Happy New Year!
 |
| Photo taken by me for nonstophonolulu.com at Aloha Tower. |
As everyone turned to the ones that they loved to say bye to 2010, I could hear murmurs of joy. As my shutter captured New Years kisses and hugs, at midnight for a short three seconds--I closed my eyes and I made a promise to myself. Often times in life, we turn to the ones that we love to celebrate or to confined the happiest and lowest moments of our lives. As I stood there alone while everyone had someone, I told myself this is a new year. No resolutions of eating less junk food, saving money or even weight lost this new year. This year will be a year of gain. A year to gain knowledge, experience, and life lessons. I thought about all of things that I have gone through during 2010 and boy was it a roller coaster. Through the pummels I still had a lot to be proud about. Just finished a Master degree, stronger relationships with the people that I love, new beginnings with people that were placed in my life for a reason and most of all memories that will forever be etched in my heart.
My promise:
To make this year, MY YEAR.
To never give up when times get hard.
To push myself beyond my assumptions.
To make my dreams come true.
And the only way I will be able to do it is if I just be me.
No one will get you to where you want to be but yourself.
"On the road to riches don't forget to stop and take pictures. Cause life ain't about where you finish but what you've learned along the way."
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Traits of The Opposite Sex
Recently, several friends have ask me what I look for in a guy and some laughed at me because it doesn't surprise them that my list never changes. Besides the obvious of a person being faithful, here are the traits that I adore when dealing with the opposite sex:
5. Humor
I've always said that if a guy can make me laugh then he is a keeper. Life has its serious moments and humor during those moments helps ease the tension and establishes some sort of comfort. Someone that has a sense of humor shows me that they are optimistic. In life, you need to surround yourself with people like that because who likes debbie downers? Good things happen. Bad things happen. Life happens. If that one person can laugh with me when we've both said or have done something foolish, then that means hours of fun just being in each other's company.
4. Adventurous
I've sky dived. I love the outdoors. I love trying all sorts of food. I love to travel. I feel that life is too short and that we should be crossing everything off of our bucket lists while having the time of our lives. I dislike boring. I dislike not being challenged. So every so once in a while, I seek out adventures to conquer. What makes these adventures a lot more memorable are the people that you do them with. I know that many people have phobias but if you hold my hand while I conquer a fear of mine, I promise that I will do the same. Life should be an adventure. There are many things that may scare us but the one thing that I've always tried to tell myself is this: "Being afraid got no one anywhere."
3. Ambition/Dreams
My guy has to be ambitious because ambition means drive. My guy can't be all talk and no implementation because the ladies can agree with me when I say that an ambitious man with a plan is sexy. The thing is that I have dreams and ambitions too. Things happen for a reason and in this life, sometimes you only have one shot. There is nothing that I love more about a person than their will to support me to help reach my dreams. Get it straight, I will support my man in any way that I can as well, even if it means distance between us or time taken away from us. Why do you say? Because like Wale said, "I like the person that you are but I’m in love with the person that you have potential to be."
2. Family
I come from two huge Filipino families. On top of that, being born and raised here in the islands, family is everything to me. To me, family means foundation. If you don't get along with my families or vice versa then I'm sorry honey, it's just not going to work. I can also tell a lot about a guy by the way he talks and treats his family. Meeting a significant other's family gives me a sneak peak of how he was brought up and how it may be if we were to ever settle down. Like what they say, you are marrying "into the family."
1. Intellect
I wear many different hats and I inter-mingle with all sorts of people. I have the career-girl hat, the school-girl hat, the fun girl hat, the protective sister hat and more. So my guy needs to know how to converse with all types of people and needs to have endurance to keep up with me. I need to be able to bring my boy out to a friends bbq but at the same time, he needs to dress-up clean too. My boy needs to have a personality that can adapt. The reason why intellect is #1 is because no matter what my guy and I may go through, he needs to respect my mind and must have the ability to bring new things to my table. He and I may not agree on a lot of things but at the same time, I love a person that can hold their ground and explain their reasoning. Nothing intrigues me more than a person that can hold a conversation while enhancing my mind set.
So I don't care if you can't buy me a house with a white-picked fence and I don't care if you aren't tall, dark or handsome. Money doesn't buy my happiness and looks eventually fade with age. So you can throw out those pick up lines and screw those dating rules...because on the real, you need to find someone that compliments you.
I know that in this world, people are not perfect but I'd like to think that there is someone out there for everyone.
..."Oh baby, bring it all to me but I don't need no fancy cars or diamond rings. Oh baby, bring it all to me. Give me your time, your love, your space, your energy."...
5. Humor
I've always said that if a guy can make me laugh then he is a keeper. Life has its serious moments and humor during those moments helps ease the tension and establishes some sort of comfort. Someone that has a sense of humor shows me that they are optimistic. In life, you need to surround yourself with people like that because who likes debbie downers? Good things happen. Bad things happen. Life happens. If that one person can laugh with me when we've both said or have done something foolish, then that means hours of fun just being in each other's company.
4. Adventurous
I've sky dived. I love the outdoors. I love trying all sorts of food. I love to travel. I feel that life is too short and that we should be crossing everything off of our bucket lists while having the time of our lives. I dislike boring. I dislike not being challenged. So every so once in a while, I seek out adventures to conquer. What makes these adventures a lot more memorable are the people that you do them with. I know that many people have phobias but if you hold my hand while I conquer a fear of mine, I promise that I will do the same. Life should be an adventure. There are many things that may scare us but the one thing that I've always tried to tell myself is this: "Being afraid got no one anywhere."
3. Ambition/Dreams
My guy has to be ambitious because ambition means drive. My guy can't be all talk and no implementation because the ladies can agree with me when I say that an ambitious man with a plan is sexy. The thing is that I have dreams and ambitions too. Things happen for a reason and in this life, sometimes you only have one shot. There is nothing that I love more about a person than their will to support me to help reach my dreams. Get it straight, I will support my man in any way that I can as well, even if it means distance between us or time taken away from us. Why do you say? Because like Wale said, "I like the person that you are but I’m in love with the person that you have potential to be."
2. Family
I come from two huge Filipino families. On top of that, being born and raised here in the islands, family is everything to me. To me, family means foundation. If you don't get along with my families or vice versa then I'm sorry honey, it's just not going to work. I can also tell a lot about a guy by the way he talks and treats his family. Meeting a significant other's family gives me a sneak peak of how he was brought up and how it may be if we were to ever settle down. Like what they say, you are marrying "into the family."
1. Intellect
I wear many different hats and I inter-mingle with all sorts of people. I have the career-girl hat, the school-girl hat, the fun girl hat, the protective sister hat and more. So my guy needs to know how to converse with all types of people and needs to have endurance to keep up with me. I need to be able to bring my boy out to a friends bbq but at the same time, he needs to dress-up clean too. My boy needs to have a personality that can adapt. The reason why intellect is #1 is because no matter what my guy and I may go through, he needs to respect my mind and must have the ability to bring new things to my table. He and I may not agree on a lot of things but at the same time, I love a person that can hold their ground and explain their reasoning. Nothing intrigues me more than a person that can hold a conversation while enhancing my mind set.
So I don't care if you can't buy me a house with a white-picked fence and I don't care if you aren't tall, dark or handsome. Money doesn't buy my happiness and looks eventually fade with age. So you can throw out those pick up lines and screw those dating rules...because on the real, you need to find someone that compliments you.
I know that in this world, people are not perfect but I'd like to think that there is someone out there for everyone.
..."Oh baby, bring it all to me but I don't need no fancy cars or diamond rings. Oh baby, bring it all to me. Give me your time, your love, your space, your energy."...
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
A Fairy Tale Non-Believer
One of my favorite bloggers, Abi, talked about having a happily ever after in your own way. As I think about it, I was never the type to believe in fairy tales. Yeah, Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast were my favorite Disney movies but I as I grew up, I knew that there was no prince charming waiting in the midst to save me.
After overcoming one big conflict, fairy tales end happily. However, what about the follow-up? Relationships are never as seamless as it seems in movies. There are more hurdles down the road then what they play it out to be. I know for damn sure that I've never been a princess. Okay, so maybe I have been treated like one before but I obviously did not get into that white pumpkin carriage in the end to be wifed up.
I've never waited for a knight in shining armor to rescue me. If a wolf came running full force toward me, I will not be that littledamsel in distress. No running away here because my fist would be waiting to knock that beast in the face. If I got myself in a hot mess, I had to woman-up and climb over those stone walls in my stilettos if I wanted to save myself. You may think that I'm being an anti-relationship critic right now but I'm just saying....
For every person in this world, there is someone out there that was meant for you, I believe that. I know that I won't find a prince that will just give me everything that my heart desires because relationships mean work and collaboration. A relationship will only be as good as the hearts you both hold for each other through the roughest of times.
Like Abi said...there is "a Wil to my Jada." Because with tireless effort there is a Jay-Z to my Beyonce. A David to my Victoria. A Kekoa to my Makana.
..."don’t need the stilettos, I’m not cinderella. I don’t need a knight so baby take off all your amor….I don’t believe in fairy tales but I believe in you and me"...
After overcoming one big conflict, fairy tales end happily. However, what about the follow-up? Relationships are never as seamless as it seems in movies. There are more hurdles down the road then what they play it out to be. I know for damn sure that I've never been a princess. Okay, so maybe I have been treated like one before but I obviously did not get into that white pumpkin carriage in the end to be wifed up.
I've never waited for a knight in shining armor to rescue me. If a wolf came running full force toward me, I will not be that little
For every person in this world, there is someone out there that was meant for you, I believe that. I know that I won't find a prince that will just give me everything that my heart desires because relationships mean work and collaboration. A relationship will only be as good as the hearts you both hold for each other through the roughest of times.
Like Abi said...there is "a Wil to my Jada." Because with tireless effort there is a Jay-Z to my Beyonce. A David to my Victoria. A Kekoa to my Makana.
I don't believe in fairy tales but I do believe in
LOVE.
LOVE.
..."don’t need the stilettos, I’m not cinderella. I don’t need a knight so baby take off all your amor….I don’t believe in fairy tales but I believe in you and me"...
Friday, October 29, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
What For?
We study so hard reading them books.
And what for?
The grades.
We break our backs working countless hours.
And what for?
To pay the plastic.
To provide us shelter.
Clothes piled in this corner.
Shoes stacked up to the nines.
A library filled with words of stories that we wish we could have.
A happily ever after means what to you?
Living comfortably?
To raise a family?
Or is it walking in the latest trends or driving the hottest rides?
Maybe it is living in a house with a pool and a basketball court.
No piked fence you say, you'd rather have a stone wall with them big steel center gates.
Why do you need gates like that? For security?
Although, how could you feel secure with metal around you when the true intruder resides within yourself.
Or with your dreams.
So tell me why are you living your life the way that you are.
What in the heck for?
What purpose do you believe you fulfill?
You see everything has a purpose.
Everything that is currently at your grasp.
The people that walk in and our of your life.
The experiences that you have endured or glorified.
So when you ask yourself why you are doing the things that you are doing or are saying the things you speak of, ask yourself what for?
Is it to hurt your competitors or to improve your game?
And what for?
The grades.
We break our backs working countless hours.
And what for?
To pay the plastic.
To provide us shelter.
Clothes piled in this corner.
Shoes stacked up to the nines.
A library filled with words of stories that we wish we could have.
A happily ever after means what to you?
Living comfortably?
To raise a family?
Or is it walking in the latest trends or driving the hottest rides?
Maybe it is living in a house with a pool and a basketball court.
No piked fence you say, you'd rather have a stone wall with them big steel center gates.
Why do you need gates like that? For security?
Although, how could you feel secure with metal around you when the true intruder resides within yourself.
Or with your dreams.
So tell me why are you living your life the way that you are.
What in the heck for?
What purpose do you believe you fulfill?
You see everything has a purpose.
Everything that is currently at your grasp.
The people that walk in and our of your life.
The experiences that you have endured or glorified.
So when you ask yourself why you are doing the things that you are doing or are saying the things you speak of, ask yourself what for?
Is it to hurt your competitors or to improve your game?
It is all for a bigger purpose for a bigger picture.
So tell me, what do you think is yours?
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Practice What You Preach
So it is easier said than done. When your friends come to you with a dilemma, you often find yourself giving them advice. Telling people what you would do if you were in the same exact situation. However let's be real. Sometimes we can't take our own advice. I believe it is because when we are not in the situation ourselves, we think with our heads. Then when we are actually facing the dilemma in our own lives, we think with our hearts.
Many of us can be hypocrites. I'm not perfect and know for fact that I'm a walking contradiction. We give in and we break promises. We go back when we are suppose to go forward. We ponder when we are suppose to be forgetting.
However this time, let's start all over and start keeping our words.
Let us mean what we say.
We need to stop talking and start doing because on a real tip, keeping our word is what gives us our credibility.
Many of us can be hypocrites. I'm not perfect and know for fact that I'm a walking contradiction. We give in and we break promises. We go back when we are suppose to go forward. We ponder when we are suppose to be forgetting.
However this time, let's start all over and start keeping our words.
Let us mean what we say.
We need to stop talking and start doing because on a real tip, keeping our word is what gives us our credibility.
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