- Aaron Rodgers
Green Bay Packers Quaterback
After recieving the MVP award for the 2011 Super Bowl
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
In To Fall Out (Part 4)
(continued from Part 1, Part 2, Part 3)
It finally hit me. I can't do this anymore. I have to do what I have to do. I mean, he was fun--we had fun. I wanted all of this confusion to stop.
When I told him we had to end our fling, he didn't resist. As much as I wanted him to soothe the emptiness that I was feeling in my chest, I kept telling myself that it was for the best. Although, how could it be for the best when I feel like I'm leaving something behind? And how could I even say that it feels like a break up when we haven't even officially started?
He texted one night that he wanted to talk and with no hesitation I went over. As soon and I saw his face there it was, that feeling that I just couldn't describe. Suprisngly, it wasn't awkward. I mean, it felt as if we were legitamitley cool with what had happened couple of days before. But then he just had to pick at my brain and explore my most inner thoughts. The thoughts that I was secretly keeping to myself because I for one was still trying to find answers.
As we both looked at the celing he said, "I'm not afraid to be alone."
Puzzled, I said, "neither am I."
As I turned my head over, I told him, "I'm not afraid to be in love, I'm just cautious with things that I can't completley control."
In all retrospect things like my family, my career and my destiny, those things can only be fulfilled if I make them happen. Even though there are some shades of gray, matters of the heart are more complex because emotions are involved.When he kissed me that night, I realized then that his eyes were closed.
Then it hit me again.
As much as I felt content being alone, I just could not deny this feeling.
When I looked into the gateways of his soul that night, I remember that at that very moment, he was completley perfect.
It was not being alone that I feared.
I was afraid of going back to that place that I swore that I would never revisit.
I was afraid of allowing love from a person as authentic as he into my life and into my already fragile heart.
I was afraid of not being in control.
In the beginning I was vigilant because I swore I wasn't going to fall. With no back up plan at hand, the issue now was trying to fall back out.
They say that plans are tentative but I never thought that someone like him would ever consider a person like me. However, I for one knew that I wouldn't let this fling manifest emotions that could tentatively hold us back from the life-long plans that we have been working so hard to reach.
..."Cause whenever you're near, it's love that I fear. I've been saved in this shell and I can't tell if I'm living at all. I've been doing well on my own but maybe it's just me who I'm decieving. Cause everything about me leads right to you.'...
It finally hit me. I can't do this anymore. I have to do what I have to do. I mean, he was fun--we had fun. I wanted all of this confusion to stop.
When I told him we had to end our fling, he didn't resist. As much as I wanted him to soothe the emptiness that I was feeling in my chest, I kept telling myself that it was for the best. Although, how could it be for the best when I feel like I'm leaving something behind? And how could I even say that it feels like a break up when we haven't even officially started?
He texted one night that he wanted to talk and with no hesitation I went over. As soon and I saw his face there it was, that feeling that I just couldn't describe. Suprisngly, it wasn't awkward. I mean, it felt as if we were legitamitley cool with what had happened couple of days before. But then he just had to pick at my brain and explore my most inner thoughts. The thoughts that I was secretly keeping to myself because I for one was still trying to find answers.
As we both looked at the celing he said, "I'm not afraid to be alone."
Puzzled, I said, "neither am I."
As I turned my head over, I told him, "I'm not afraid to be in love, I'm just cautious with things that I can't completley control."
In all retrospect things like my family, my career and my destiny, those things can only be fulfilled if I make them happen. Even though there are some shades of gray, matters of the heart are more complex because emotions are involved.When he kissed me that night, I realized then that his eyes were closed.
Then it hit me again.
As much as I felt content being alone, I just could not deny this feeling.
When I looked into the gateways of his soul that night, I remember that at that very moment, he was completley perfect.
It was not being alone that I feared.
I was afraid of going back to that place that I swore that I would never revisit.
I was afraid of allowing love from a person as authentic as he into my life and into my already fragile heart.
I was afraid of not being in control.
In the beginning I was vigilant because I swore I wasn't going to fall. With no back up plan at hand, the issue now was trying to fall back out.
They say that plans are tentative but I never thought that someone like him would ever consider a person like me. However, I for one knew that I wouldn't let this fling manifest emotions that could tentatively hold us back from the life-long plans that we have been working so hard to reach.
..."Cause whenever you're near, it's love that I fear. I've been saved in this shell and I can't tell if I'm living at all. I've been doing well on my own but maybe it's just me who I'm decieving. Cause everything about me leads right to you.'...
Friday, February 18, 2011
..."For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope that you have the strength to start all over again."...
-Benjamin Button
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
In To Fall Out (Part 3)
(continued from Part 1, Part 2)
As he stared into my eyes, I couldn't help but think about how wonderful this man was. He was everything that I could ever ask for. As cliche as it was, my reality was way better than my dreams and as much as I wanted to incorporate him in my future, our dreams were leading us in two different directions.
I've thought about cutting out the intimate part of our relationship because it was safer for us to be friends. What was the sense of continuing it all when there was no mutual goal to attain? He was going to leave in a couple of years and so was I. However I also thought about what I had promised myself years ago: to live life without any regrets. I did not want to move on with my life without giving us a shot.
"I really like you," he whispered.
And as I stared, I tried to tuck my worries away.
As I touched his face, I looked deep into his beautiful hazel eyes, kissed him on his forehead and whispered back, "you're amazing."
Because he was nothing less than amazing. He had a genuine soul that was undeniable, he had a heart that you could not help but adore and he knew all of the right things to say or do in order to wash away all of your troubles.
While we were laying in bed, I gently caressed his chest. I just wanted to soak it all in. Even if was just simply being beside him.
"What's wrong baby?"
"Nothing. Just looking at you."
As he gently brushed my arm he trusted his intuition and asked, "tell me what's on your mind."
So I let him hear it.
"We can't get attached."
He had his way with words and instead of agreeing with me, he said "we both believe that things happen for a reason." As he kissed me, he gazed into my eyes with contentment. "We just don't know what the reason is just yet but trust me when I say that I enjoy all the time that you give me."
There I'am saying in my head, that line was perfect! Where is the director waiting to call cut? Because really, who says that? But as he sat up to lean over he said, "for our hearts sake though, we'll stop this when you feel like it's best."
With relief I told him that he had to make me that promise.
And as he kissed me for the last time that night he said something that reassured me he was paying attention to every secret pocket of my heart, "We'll try our best so that both of us don't end up hurting."
..."The way you move, the way you look at me. There's something about the way you see things
its like a change of scenery. Everything about you, I just want more of."...
As he stared into my eyes, I couldn't help but think about how wonderful this man was. He was everything that I could ever ask for. As cliche as it was, my reality was way better than my dreams and as much as I wanted to incorporate him in my future, our dreams were leading us in two different directions.
I've thought about cutting out the intimate part of our relationship because it was safer for us to be friends. What was the sense of continuing it all when there was no mutual goal to attain? He was going to leave in a couple of years and so was I. However I also thought about what I had promised myself years ago: to live life without any regrets. I did not want to move on with my life without giving us a shot.
"I really like you," he whispered.
And as I stared, I tried to tuck my worries away.
As I touched his face, I looked deep into his beautiful hazel eyes, kissed him on his forehead and whispered back, "you're amazing."
Because he was nothing less than amazing. He had a genuine soul that was undeniable, he had a heart that you could not help but adore and he knew all of the right things to say or do in order to wash away all of your troubles.
While we were laying in bed, I gently caressed his chest. I just wanted to soak it all in. Even if was just simply being beside him.
"What's wrong baby?"
"Nothing. Just looking at you."
As he gently brushed my arm he trusted his intuition and asked, "tell me what's on your mind."
So I let him hear it.
"We can't get attached."
He had his way with words and instead of agreeing with me, he said "we both believe that things happen for a reason." As he kissed me, he gazed into my eyes with contentment. "We just don't know what the reason is just yet but trust me when I say that I enjoy all the time that you give me."
There I'am saying in my head, that line was perfect! Where is the director waiting to call cut? Because really, who says that? But as he sat up to lean over he said, "for our hearts sake though, we'll stop this when you feel like it's best."
With relief I told him that he had to make me that promise.
And as he kissed me for the last time that night he said something that reassured me he was paying attention to every secret pocket of my heart, "We'll try our best so that both of us don't end up hurting."
..."The way you move, the way you look at me. There's something about the way you see things
its like a change of scenery. Everything about you, I just want more of."...
Monday, February 14, 2011
Valentine's=Appreciation of Love Day
So no one really calls Valentine's Day a holiday because there are some of us that refer to February 14 as a "Hallmark Holiday." It may be another scheme by corporate America to lure consumers to spend more money in order to stimulate our economy but I think that we all have lost what this day really means.
As my favorite blogger Jozen said, there are different types of people on V-day. He says that there are couples that are into the day, couples that are over it and couples that use the day to make-up for all of the BS that they have gone through before February 14. However, you also have the people that are single but have someone in mind or are single and have no one at all.
I never liked Valentine's and it's not because I have had bad experiences but why do we need a special day to tell someone how much we appreciate and love them? Shouldn't that be done everyday? And yes getting surprise chocolates, teddy bears, and flowers are sweet gestures. However when a person expresses their gratitude and love with sincerity, there are no materialistic things in the store that can ever compare. A simple kiss on the forehead, a simple five second gaze into a person's eyes while saying "I love you" or "thank you for being you" is priceless.
So screw the labels of calling February 14 Valentine's or Single Awareness Day, I've always looked it as the Appreciation of Love Day. So to all of my friends that have a Valentine today, may that love grow more each day. For all of my friends that are single today, may you never forget to always love yourself first and may the love that you've been waiting so patiently for find you.
FROM ME TO YOU ON THIS VALENTINE'S DAY:
...To all of the hearts that I have broken, thank you for teaching me how to woman-up with what I really want in life. To all of the people that have broken my heart, thank you for teaching me how to mend one. To all of the people that I LOVE and are currently in my life, call it Valentines or Single Awareness Day; but I call it a day to APPRECIATE THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE THAT HAVE SHOWN US HOW TO LOVE...
"As the years they pass us by, we stay young through each other's eyes. And no matter how old we get, it's okay as long as I got you babe"...
As my favorite blogger Jozen said, there are different types of people on V-day. He says that there are couples that are into the day, couples that are over it and couples that use the day to make-up for all of the BS that they have gone through before February 14. However, you also have the people that are single but have someone in mind or are single and have no one at all.
I never liked Valentine's and it's not because I have had bad experiences but why do we need a special day to tell someone how much we appreciate and love them? Shouldn't that be done everyday? And yes getting surprise chocolates, teddy bears, and flowers are sweet gestures. However when a person expresses their gratitude and love with sincerity, there are no materialistic things in the store that can ever compare. A simple kiss on the forehead, a simple five second gaze into a person's eyes while saying "I love you" or "thank you for being you" is priceless.
So screw the labels of calling February 14 Valentine's or Single Awareness Day, I've always looked it as the Appreciation of Love Day. So to all of my friends that have a Valentine today, may that love grow more each day. For all of my friends that are single today, may you never forget to always love yourself first and may the love that you've been waiting so patiently for find you.
FROM ME TO YOU ON THIS VALENTINE'S DAY:
...To all of the hearts that I have broken, thank you for teaching me how to woman-up with what I really want in life. To all of the people that have broken my heart, thank you for teaching me how to mend one. To all of the people that I LOVE and are currently in my life, call it Valentines or Single Awareness Day; but I call it a day to APPRECIATE THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE THAT HAVE SHOWN US HOW TO LOVE...
"As the years they pass us by, we stay young through each other's eyes. And no matter how old we get, it's okay as long as I got you babe"...
Thursday, February 10, 2011
In To Fall Out (Part 2)
(continued from Part 1)
“Girl, I don’t know what it is. He’s something else.”
“Oh really, is that so now? What happened to saying that all guys have something wrong with them?”
“I know I’ve said that before but I can’t find anything just yet.”
As I thought about it, everything about Sam was too good to be true. On paper, he was the guy that I told my girlfriends to settle for. He was smart, witty, driven and handsome. Everyone that I knew not only liked him but respected him. So why was I having such a hard time grasping the fact that maybe he was one of the exceptional ones?
“Cassie, maybe you have something good on your hands. I mean all of things that you have mentioned are all good things.”
“If he was so good, then why do I have this feeling of being in a stance?”
“Maybe it’s because you don’t want to set yourself up for that disappointment.”
As much as she was right, I wasn’t opening up to Sam because opening up means that you are allowing yourself to feel. As much as this was a good thing…I knew that if I continued this, I would be taking a risk of the heart.
“Remember what you always would tell me. Is this love or is this lust?”
Deep inside I knew that it wasn’t love. Maybe it was infatuation? I didn’t know how I felt about him or the relationship we had. All I knew was that he was something else. He was calling out all of the correct plays and saying things that you only hear in movies. However this was neither a movie nor a game. For once I was in limbo of what my heart wanted to allow itself to feel and what my head wanted to believe.
“I want to get closer but let me doubt a little longer.”
“Girl, I don’t know what it is. He’s something else.”
“Oh really, is that so now? What happened to saying that all guys have something wrong with them?”
“I know I’ve said that before but I can’t find anything just yet.”
As I thought about it, everything about Sam was too good to be true. On paper, he was the guy that I told my girlfriends to settle for. He was smart, witty, driven and handsome. Everyone that I knew not only liked him but respected him. So why was I having such a hard time grasping the fact that maybe he was one of the exceptional ones?
“Cassie, maybe you have something good on your hands. I mean all of things that you have mentioned are all good things.”
“If he was so good, then why do I have this feeling of being in a stance?”
“Maybe it’s because you don’t want to set yourself up for that disappointment.”
As much as she was right, I wasn’t opening up to Sam because opening up means that you are allowing yourself to feel. As much as this was a good thing…I knew that if I continued this, I would be taking a risk of the heart.
“Remember what you always would tell me. Is this love or is this lust?”
Deep inside I knew that it wasn’t love. Maybe it was infatuation? I didn’t know how I felt about him or the relationship we had. All I knew was that he was something else. He was calling out all of the correct plays and saying things that you only hear in movies. However this was neither a movie nor a game. For once I was in limbo of what my heart wanted to allow itself to feel and what my head wanted to believe.
“I want to get closer but let me doubt a little longer.”
Friday, February 4, 2011
Runaway Girl
You got the finest things hanging in your closet. You got looks to kill and a brain to outsmart the slickest mastermind but there you go running away. You say that love resides where you are from. That home is where the heart is but why are you off searching for an idea that you can't even grasp, something that is right in front of you? What are your really searching for anyway? You say that you should be allowed to have what your heart desires but really, what does your heart REALLY desire?
Everyone has dreams and we all see that you are trying to make them happen but it seems that you have forgotten about what really matters. You take those pictures to post up for all of your friends to see. You are off "chasing your fate" or that is what you try to tell yourself. You are just running away from your problems. Don't lie and don't front. Stop making excuses for once. "Are you running away for a purpose? Do you even know what your self worth is?"
You got a lot left in you but you are so sure that the grass is greener on the other side. There you go sizing yourself up to every other girl next to you. Yeah, you may not be like those models in those magazines but there is only one you. You downplay yourself too much. It's not being cocky girl, it is knowing that you are deserving. Don't let those fools take advantage of you. Don't pay attention to what the media wants you to be, what others what you to be, what they claim as being beautiful because you got it girl, you got a beautiful side to you. A side that only people with patience are allowed to see. A side that people who really matter are privileged to see.
But then again "the past is what you carry in your purse" and to some extent it's true, "it's a gift and a curse." The past that has made you that much stronger, the past that has made you in the person that you are, the past that had to happen for a reason. Although, that is where you need to stop. The past that you hold on to prohibits you to feel, to love, to trust. You got the mentality that you "want to witness the world." You want to go on adventures, all to find the answers of what the world can offer you. But don't forget who you really are, who you truly are. If you let the world influence you that much then that is where we say, "farewell to the pure, amen I pray." Only to hope that as you get lost in your world full of expectations and fictitious substance that you find your way back. That you find your way back to the place that watched you grow and in the arms of the people that have ALWAYS loved you.
..."You wander the world. You seek what you've lost. You're waking up every day to run away...good bye, good day be on
your way run away girl"...
Everyone has dreams and we all see that you are trying to make them happen but it seems that you have forgotten about what really matters. You take those pictures to post up for all of your friends to see. You are off "chasing your fate" or that is what you try to tell yourself. You are just running away from your problems. Don't lie and don't front. Stop making excuses for once. "Are you running away for a purpose? Do you even know what your self worth is?"
You got a lot left in you but you are so sure that the grass is greener on the other side. There you go sizing yourself up to every other girl next to you. Yeah, you may not be like those models in those magazines but there is only one you. You downplay yourself too much. It's not being cocky girl, it is knowing that you are deserving. Don't let those fools take advantage of you. Don't pay attention to what the media wants you to be, what others what you to be, what they claim as being beautiful because you got it girl, you got a beautiful side to you. A side that only people with patience are allowed to see. A side that people who really matter are privileged to see.
But then again "the past is what you carry in your purse" and to some extent it's true, "it's a gift and a curse." The past that has made you that much stronger, the past that has made you in the person that you are, the past that had to happen for a reason. Although, that is where you need to stop. The past that you hold on to prohibits you to feel, to love, to trust. You got the mentality that you "want to witness the world." You want to go on adventures, all to find the answers of what the world can offer you. But don't forget who you really are, who you truly are. If you let the world influence you that much then that is where we say, "farewell to the pure, amen I pray." Only to hope that as you get lost in your world full of expectations and fictitious substance that you find your way back. That you find your way back to the place that watched you grow and in the arms of the people that have ALWAYS loved you.
..."You wander the world. You seek what you've lost. You're waking up every day to run away...good bye, good day be on
your way run away girl"...
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
In To Fall Out (Part 1)
“Cassie.”
“Cassie.”
“Hello Cassie!”
“Oh! Sorry guys. I was just thinking of some ideas for the fundraiser.”
“I’m sure Cass, what clever ideas were you thinking of?”
“I’ll let you know when they are all thought out.”
As everyone left the conference room, I sat there. I just didn’t know what it was. Why am I thinking of him?
We don’t have much in common or do we?
No we don’t, he is not even my type.
I was thinking of him every spare second but I had no valid reason other than that we always have a great time together.
Beep. Text message from him. “I miss you.”
As much as I liked Sam I just knew that I had to be careful. I knew what he was working towards in life and this little fling that we had going on would just be a distraction. Not only for him but me as well. I didn’t even know why he liked spending time with me because god knows that he is a good catch and could get with others way better than I.
Giggling and thinking to myself, “Shut up Cassie! Why are you even thinking that bull? You are not insecure. Shoot! you got some rich substance to you too.”
I didn’t even know where things were going. All I knew was that everytime I thought of him, I'd pause and smile. I didn’t care where this fling was going but I sure as hell was willing to go along for the ride.
"I can't help it. I can't tell you how much I try to get you off my mind."
“Cassie.”
“Hello Cassie!”
“Oh! Sorry guys. I was just thinking of some ideas for the fundraiser.”
“I’m sure Cass, what clever ideas were you thinking of?”
“I’ll let you know when they are all thought out.”
As everyone left the conference room, I sat there. I just didn’t know what it was. Why am I thinking of him?
We don’t have much in common or do we?
No we don’t, he is not even my type.
I was thinking of him every spare second but I had no valid reason other than that we always have a great time together.
Beep. Text message from him. “I miss you.”
As much as I liked Sam I just knew that I had to be careful. I knew what he was working towards in life and this little fling that we had going on would just be a distraction. Not only for him but me as well. I didn’t even know why he liked spending time with me because god knows that he is a good catch and could get with others way better than I.
Giggling and thinking to myself, “Shut up Cassie! Why are you even thinking that bull? You are not insecure. Shoot! you got some rich substance to you too.”
I didn’t even know where things were going. All I knew was that everytime I thought of him, I'd pause and smile. I didn’t care where this fling was going but I sure as hell was willing to go along for the ride.
"I can't help it. I can't tell you how much I try to get you off my mind."
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