There is a job opening at your work place, you debate if you are ready to fulfill the position. Although your co-worker applys before you and gets that promotion.
Silence kills.
You see something that you don't approve of but you let that person live their life as they please. They end up getting hurt and there you are thinking "what if?"
Silence kills.
You want to tell someone that you love them and want to ask them if they feel the same way. Instead of taking a risk--fearing rejection, you admire from afar.
Silence kills.
You see that person everday yet forget to utter those three words that mean the most. A commercial truck side swipes their sedan at the highway intersection.
Silence kills.
You miss that person so bad but you know that things are just not the same. You cry yourself to sleep, holding the last thing you own with their lingering scent.
Silence kills.
You have done something that goes against everything that you have vowed. Afraid that the person will slip out of your life forever, thinking "what they don't know won't kill them."
The silence kills the promises.
It kills the trust.
It kills the memories.
It kills the relationship.
It kills the love.
It is killing you because that person has every right to know.
They don't know it yet but you being silent is killing them.
Silence kills so speak up.
"When you open up, our love is alive and now you’re quiet and I’m dying inside. So baby speak up, Cuz your silence is killing me."
When she stepped out of the car, she got acquainted with someone she had only heard stories about. "Hi my name is Chris" and all she could do was smirk and say "Hi, I'm Sara". As her best friend walked ahead to speak with a stranger while the others stood in line, Chris continued the conversation in order to kill the silence. Thinking that she would never have anything in common with him, she followed his lead.
Sara asked the complete stranger in efforts to keep the dying conversation going, "So what did you major in during college?" He replied, "umm. Radiology." How weird she thought, a guy like him majored in radiology? You would think that a guy of his stature would have majored in something more stereotypical like accounting or IT. "Oh really? I majored in Biology and I just started medical school." Chris checked her with his eyes, up and down. In confusion, the girl wearing nothing but a mini dress looked awfully young. "Wait did i hear you right? Med school? How old are you?" Sara smiled because she gets it all the time, "I'm 21."
Sara walks ahead of him to catch up with her best friend, she tosses him a smile and with eyes gleaming Chris runs to catch up. They enter a small-cramped bar that was known to be popping on a Wednesday. A toast to a good night led to Patron, Jameson, Grey and Crown accompanied with pineapple and coke backs. Drinks led to more conversations. Conversations led to laughs. Laughs led to another room with good music. Built with enthusiasm to make the guy-infested place fun, Sara and her friends danced the night away while the guys took a stog break. Chris and his best friend come back to the girls busting it out on the dance floor. Not avid dancers themselves, both Chris and his best friend join in on the fun and try their best to stay on beat.
It was last call for alcohol and Sara didn't want it to end just yet. In search of something light, the group posted up at a late night Pho joint. What thought to be a group rolling deep, Sara and Chris found themselves with their best friends at the same eatery spot and sitting in the same booth. The once awkward conversation that started a few hours ago continued over caffeine and carbs."We need to do this again," said Chris. As Sara got the eye approval from her best friend she looked at Chris and said, "You know how to get a hold of us, so just let us know."
The next night she expected another night of fun, another night to paint the town. Bar after bar, conversation after the other, Chris wanted her to stay just a little bit longer but Sara couldn't. She had a training convention in another city and had to catch the first train out the next morning. In hopes to hear from her again and at the last minute as she was walking away to her car, "I want those pictures that you took tonight." She turned around, put one hand in the air and said, "Don't worry, just call me and I'll get them to you."
Over the past couple of nights, the two knew that the awkward conversations were a start to something. They just didn't know what it was and where it was going.
It is a given that people make mistakes and sometimes it takes a person to make the same mistake to fully learn and comprehend the repercussions. When people make mistakes the first time, often times you try to forgive and be civil by talking it out on the receiving end. People often agree to certain circumstances in order to prevent the same mistake from happening again.
The same mistake occurs for the second time and what do you do? You forgive because other factors come into play, you think "maybe it was an honest mistake", "maybe he/she forgot?" or "this time it will all be different, she/he will realize." You try to take your mind off of it, you try to get past it in order for the relationship to move on, to grow, to become that much stronger.
Although the mistake occurs and there you are, blaming the person for committing the same mistake...again. Telling them that they should have known better, repeating the same things that you said the last time. You ignore your mind and your soul. The love that you have for that person over powers your instinct. Instead you listen to your heart and there you go again... in the same cycle, trying to forgive and trying to forget because you truly believe that you guys are better than that. That your love will make it through the rain.
However YOU should know better than that.You need to stop being naive and wake the hell up. You are putting yourself through that cycle and you need to stop blaming other people, especially the person for making the same mistake. What ever happened to three strikes you're out? When things happen the first time, you need to take a mental note and take it as a warning of what could possibly happen in the future. The past does not always predict what awaits down the road but it should still be taken into some sort of consideration. The person making the mistake may not be able to admit or wo/man up to their mistakes but as a person, you need to try and be real with yourself by stepping up and accepting your faults. You need to concede your lack of sense for the situation to a certain degree.
Because how many times will you take them back? How many sleepless nights will the sun witness? How many gallons of tears will you allow to substantiate your worth? YOU choose to put yourself into situations and YOU can choose to take yourself out.
Haven't you had just about enough?
...You had my mind and I let you come back every time. You would violate and cross the line and you knew that I would be the type to always wait so patiently...I done enough lyin' and cryin' to myself. Nothin' left to do but move. What else can I do but leave?...
I remember when I listened to my first Tupac song. I was 6 years old. I was in the my mom's red celica and she was picking me up from A+. Keep Ya Head Up boomed through the speakers and it has been a song that has stayed with me ever since. This song helped me get through a lot. Another song that helped opened my eyes to events that were not in the news lime-light was, Changes. Thanks to the words of an actor, social activist, and top-selling rapper...my eyes opened up a little bigger to be aware of things that did not only pertain to my state or the national level but to the world.
Rest In Paradise
Tupac Amaru Shakur
June 16, 1971 – September 13, 1996
"You can't complain you was dealt this.
Hell of a hand without a man, feelin helpless because there's too many things for you to deal with.
Dying inside, but outside you're looking fearless...
Ooh child, things are gonna get easier. Ooh child things gon' get brighter."
"We gotta make a change... It's time for us as a people to start makin' some changes. Let's change the way we eat, let's change the way we live and let's change the way we treat each other. You see the old way wasn't working so it's on us to do what we gotta do, to survive."
I’m one of the few girls I know that kicks it with a bunch of dudes versus a flock of chicks. And please don’t get it twisted cause the guys that I spend majority of my time with are homies, buds, big and little brothers. These guys are the very ones that will invite me as the only female to a guys night out, carry my behind out of the club when I’ve had too much to drink, will rescue me when a case of ugly tries to rub up against me on the dance floor and will be the first ones to make sure that my swag for the showcase of potentials is always at its best. Since my boys look out for me, I return the favor by having their backs as well.
When it comes to girls that my boys are peepin’, best believe I will be the first to check this beezy out. Not because I’m jealous or because I’ve drank a pint of hater-ade but it’s because my GOOD boys deserve GOOD girls. Sure my boys have done some bad things in the past but no one is perfect. What is important is that I only run with fellas that have good intentions and good hearts. My guys will tell you, I turn into protective sister/mama bear when it comes to matters of the heart and majority of the time they will ask for my approval on more things than one. I try my best to make sure that my boys are not being toyed with and I make sure that they prepare themselves for what they may be getting into.
Let’s face it…guys will be guys and when they come to me whining about their whiplash of b*tchyness from some of these girls, please don’t call me one-sided because I always make sure that I give them my two cents. Sometimes their idiotic actions deserved that whiplash. Most of the time, I'm the one that they are confiding in with their girl issues and I'm the one telling them how to patch things up.
This world is not as big as we may think because you know that everyone knows someone that knows a person that may know you but you can’t seem to even recall their existence in return. LOL. It’s the journalist in me when I do background checks on these girls. Like I said before, people make mistakes. I have made mistakes. My boys have made mistakes and these girls have their mistakes as well. However I try to not let history repeat itself. So if I know that this girl swears she is a monogamist but I got other people saying that she is a floozie, you already know I’ll be telling my homie that he better watch himself. I also know that on the turn side that past mistakes means lessons learned for some but there is nothing wrong with being over prepared for what may be the worst to come.
I love my boys down to the ground so either way..to the girls that are thinking of/talking/dating/or going out with any of my close guys friends, know this:
Whether I think that you are a right match for my boy or not..and whether or not you like me, just know that I will RESPECT you because I got no problem swallowing my pride for the love of my boy(s).I can only hope that you do the adult thing and give that in return.
I hope that you care for my boy at least because know that I care for this dude like no other...just make sure that you are keeping him happy. As long as my boy is happy then I’m happy. Recognize that my boy is a good person. If you haven’t figured that out yet then gets a steppin’ because what you need to remember is that there is some other girl out there that can do everything that you are currently doing but BETTER...and still, he chose you.
..."We were high. We were low but I promise I will never let you go, said I got your back boy"...
I know that love isn't perfect but as I was writing this... I'd like to think that there is a type of love out there for everyone:
I want a love that will respect my independence, yet have a part of them show me that they are dependent on my love.
Love that can clean up real nice in formal attire, yet can love you down in them pajamas.
Love that don't specifically prefer your genre of music yet are thankful for expanding their genre of artists.
The type of love that can be stubborn by sticking to their beliefs yet at the same time be open minded to learn about yours.
Love that can enlighten you with them late night discussions, yet be able to crack them inside jokes.
Love that is selfish to make their childhood dreams a reality, yet is selfless to make your stars align as well.
Love that will let you be after a disagreement, yet reassure you they will never leave.
Love that will let you fight your own battles, yet will be the first one to step up as your backup.
Love that will wipe away your tears, yet will make you cry tears of happiness.
Love that notices your youthful self has aged yet knows that you have grown with knowledge of lifes lessons. Love that lasts a lifetime yet still gives you those same butterflies from when you first met.
"I never knew a luh, luh-luh, a love like this.....there is a light, that shines, special for you and me"
I'm that girl that will be the only one kicking with the boys. A curious mind constantly trying to find things to be enlightened. With eyes like a camera’s shutter and a thought process of a journalist. A girl that swears her life is way more exciting away from her little island of paradise they call Hawaii Nei’ yet knows that there are no other destinations that will never ever compare. A free spirit that tries to look for constant positives in this inconsistent world of ours. A girl that dances to this weird off-tempo beat and loving every second of it.
