I can't help but look into those eyes of yours. The same eyes that has raised my heart to new heights but at the same time has shattered it in mid-flight. The past is something that we both can't change but I guess when we decided to go on this unexpected adventure, you could not ease your grip on that piece of baggage that you carry.
Lord knows how hard I've tried.
I'm torn because I want us to work. I want us to live this lifetime being together. I know that life will put us on a roller coaster of a ride but a part of me believes that if we are together, we can make that ride worthwhile...that together we can conquer the world.
As much as I want that to be our reality, a part of me wants us to move on because I shouldn't have to persuade you. If your heart is not in it then there is really nothing that I can do. I shouldn't have to make exceptions because I'm in love with you. If you want me in your life, you'll make the effort to keep me. No matter how much we grow, you remind me how we just aren't going to work. We will continue to make excuses for things that we can't wholeheartedly confront .
The moment you looked into my eyes and told me you that you loved me but wasn't in love...as much as I want to forget it, it replays over and over in my head as my heart slowly disintegrates. I guess I'm puzzled because I played by all the rules and gave everything that was left in me yet I still wasn't good enough for you.
I've never loved anyone as much as I've loved you. Although as we close this chapter of our lives, I know that you'll never find someone that will love you as much as I do. My heart would take a bullet for you, it's just sad to know that right now with all this heartache...you are behind the trigger.
I know we hold on to each other because we are comfortable and we are aligned on so many levels. However, maybe we are the right people but at the wrong time. We will never know. Even though this may be hard for us to do, it's time we face reality and let go. But I guess with us, the hardest thing in life is letting go of what you thought was real.
...."Tell me who I have to be to get some reciprocity...See I know what we've got to do, You let go and I'll let go too."...
Friday, December 14, 2012
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Hearts
I fill this void in my mind with deadlines and tasks instead of fondly reminiscing about our memories.
I fill this void in my heart with numbness and a chill so cold so that I don't have to remember your painful burn.
I can't control where your heart wanders when it feels like my love is not enough.
I can't control the visions of perfection that you yearn for when I stand before you.
I can’t control the increments of your value system if you find my self-worth too absurd.
As you pack and drift off into the night, know that these tears will wash away our hands clean of all the sins we've committed in this relationship.
I simply can't force you to love me.
Whether we love or close our hearts to love, at the end of the day it’s a choice that we make.
We need to let our hearts guide us. We have to listen closely because our hearts whisper, we just have to be courageous to listen.
I can't force you to stay but this is the best that I can give, I don’t know any other way.
I fill this void in my heart with numbness and a chill so cold so that I don't have to remember your painful burn.
I can't control where your heart wanders when it feels like my love is not enough.
I can't control the visions of perfection that you yearn for when I stand before you.
I can’t control the increments of your value system if you find my self-worth too absurd.
As you pack and drift off into the night, know that these tears will wash away our hands clean of all the sins we've committed in this relationship.
I simply can't force you to love me.
Whether we love or close our hearts to love, at the end of the day it’s a choice that we make.
We need to let our hearts guide us. We have to listen closely because our hearts whisper, we just have to be courageous to listen.
I can't force you to stay but this is the best that I can give, I don’t know any other way.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Upgrade You
Sure you've been with girls that were prettier, skinner and with body parts more voluminous than mine. But trust me when I say that you'll never experience another woman the way you will with me. I'm not trying to sound conceited but I'm like those classic cars with only two-doors, they don't make em' like me no more.
Baby, take my hand and I'll show you how it should be. Do away with that arm candy of yours because you need a trophy woman. I'll close those deals in that corner office of mine to bring home the bacon but sit back and relax baby because I'll also cook it too.
However I have to say....you have to come harder, cause this won't be easy. As much as I know you can hold it down and treat me to the fancier things that money can bring, money can't buy what I have right here...you earn it. If you want something you've never had, you'll have to do something you've never done. I'll introduce you to new things while we fly to cloud nine.
You need a real woman in your life, someone that knows what she wants out of life while helping you become the man that you were meant to be. This world is mostly ran by men, but women like me keep the tempo.
You have all of the cards in your hand, it is just up to you how you want to deal them out. When you are ready, I'll re-define what you thought was proper. If you allow me, I'll elevate you. Baby let me upgrade you.
..."It's very seldom that you're blessed to find your equal...Play my part and let you take the lead role..."
Baby, take my hand and I'll show you how it should be. Do away with that arm candy of yours because you need a trophy woman. I'll close those deals in that corner office of mine to bring home the bacon but sit back and relax baby because I'll also cook it too.
However I have to say....you have to come harder, cause this won't be easy. As much as I know you can hold it down and treat me to the fancier things that money can bring, money can't buy what I have right here...you earn it. If you want something you've never had, you'll have to do something you've never done. I'll introduce you to new things while we fly to cloud nine.
You need a real woman in your life, someone that knows what she wants out of life while helping you become the man that you were meant to be. This world is mostly ran by men, but women like me keep the tempo.
You have all of the cards in your hand, it is just up to you how you want to deal them out. When you are ready, I'll re-define what you thought was proper. If you allow me, I'll elevate you. Baby let me upgrade you.
..."It's very seldom that you're blessed to find your equal...Play my part and let you take the lead role..."
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Copy Cat
There will always be people that will try and take credit for your ideas and work. However, don't let it get to you because you know the truth.
People like that are just fascinated at the risks you take because unlike them you put accountability for the words that you speak.
People that are constantly in search for recognition obviously care too much of what people think. People like that lack initiative, innovation and hard work. You do it for the love of it and most importantly you do it for yourself.
Be flattered that someone is watching your next move. Consider it your sense of paying it forward to people that need a boost of confidence to their ego.
Do what you have always been doing; DOING YOU.
People like that are just fascinated at the risks you take because unlike them you put accountability for the words that you speak.
People that are constantly in search for recognition obviously care too much of what people think. People like that lack initiative, innovation and hard work. You do it for the love of it and most importantly you do it for yourself.
Be flattered that someone is watching your next move. Consider it your sense of paying it forward to people that need a boost of confidence to their ego.
Let those people do what they have to do in order for them to feel adequate about their lives.
Do what you have always been doing; DOING YOU.
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."
#truth
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
Liquid Confessions (Part 4)
(continued from Part 1, Part 2, Part 3)
As much I want to admit that I'm happier, there are little things that seem to pull me back. I swear that he is amazing, but he just doesn't get it. Well he gets it, I guess he just doesn't get it like how you did. It's not his fault, he just needs to get used to it or am I just lying to myself?
It's been a couple weeks since we last talked and I understand that you are out there working to build your reputation, your foundation and most of all you are out there perfecting your craft. It's nice to be able to have normal conversations where we don't bicker about the past. It's nice to have someone that knows where you have been and and is proud to see where you are currently at. It's nice to move forward with someone by your side, encouraging you every step of the way.
With us, we have finally come to terms that even though we will never get back together; that we have each other's back. Because the past was meant to happen and we had to go through it in order to bring us where we are today. We may not be in the position where we thought we would be but at the same time, it's nice to know that you are still here with me.
As I'm sink my feet in the sand and close my eyes, my short time of relaxation is abruptly interrupted. So I look onward as the sun bids the skies farewell.
"What's cooking good looking?"
"Nothing much, just on the beach."
"Soaking up some sun I see."
"No, just came to hear the ocean."
"If you went to hear the ocean, that can only mean one thing. Everything ok?"
"Just thinking things through; about love, my career, you know...life."
"Well you are a good person. Don't think too hard."
"Yeah, I try not to over think, I can only hope that it's right."
We have known each other for so long that we get each other. We don't have to say what we are pertaining to or even explain ourselves. You can tell by my use or words that something is on my mind and when I look into your eyes, I already know how your heart feels. As we said our goodbyes, you abstractly ended the conversation letting me know that in the end you will always care.
"Tell me have you heard that lately? I’m just sayin’ you could do better."
As much I want to admit that I'm happier, there are little things that seem to pull me back. I swear that he is amazing, but he just doesn't get it. Well he gets it, I guess he just doesn't get it like how you did. It's not his fault, he just needs to get used to it or am I just lying to myself?
It's been a couple weeks since we last talked and I understand that you are out there working to build your reputation, your foundation and most of all you are out there perfecting your craft. It's nice to be able to have normal conversations where we don't bicker about the past. It's nice to have someone that knows where you have been and and is proud to see where you are currently at. It's nice to move forward with someone by your side, encouraging you every step of the way.
With us, we have finally come to terms that even though we will never get back together; that we have each other's back. Because the past was meant to happen and we had to go through it in order to bring us where we are today. We may not be in the position where we thought we would be but at the same time, it's nice to know that you are still here with me.
As I'm sink my feet in the sand and close my eyes, my short time of relaxation is abruptly interrupted. So I look onward as the sun bids the skies farewell.
"What's cooking good looking?"
"Nothing much, just on the beach."
"Soaking up some sun I see."
"No, just came to hear the ocean."
"If you went to hear the ocean, that can only mean one thing. Everything ok?"
"Just thinking things through; about love, my career, you know...life."
"Well you are a good person. Don't think too hard."
"Yeah, I try not to over think, I can only hope that it's right."
We have known each other for so long that we get each other. We don't have to say what we are pertaining to or even explain ourselves. You can tell by my use or words that something is on my mind and when I look into your eyes, I already know how your heart feels. As we said our goodbyes, you abstractly ended the conversation letting me know that in the end you will always care.
"Tell me have you heard that lately? I’m just sayin’ you could do better."
Monday, January 2, 2012
Farewell 2011
When 2011 started, I went into the year with an attitude of optimism and hope. However this crazy roller coaster of a life decided to take me on several detours and unplanned drops. I thought that I was well prepared to enter the new year with the lessons learned from the previous but as it panned out, life had more things to teach me.
I was blessed to be surrounded by wonderful people this year. I had to bid a due to some but I was able to create new relationships while being able to strengthen existing ones. When people cross your path in life, I believe it is in contribution for a bigger purpose. Sometimes the purpose is unknown at the current moment and sometimes the overlay of paths vary in length but there are things that people teach you; it helps build your character but it also helps tear down your walls of ignorance. Many of us often forget that we are not perfect and in the end, we are all human.
Along with the wonderful people were the beautiful experiences. A wise man told me "do not lose the romance of life." So, I pushed myself more than ever to take leaps of faith. We all want something to better ourselves but we are often scared of the unknown. I put myself out there and put myself in the most vulnerable situations. I didn't have time to be scared because when it comes to something that you really want in life, the worst thing that can happen is that you are told no. Rejection prepares you for something better and gives you motivation to strive for better. Rejection and determination this year helped me reinvent my craft, helped my career, allowed me to travel and helped me create memories that I will never forget.
I learned to not get lost in the crowd, to stick to my beliefs and to never forget my worth. I feel that once you lose who you are, you lose the essence of what you been striving for and you lose vision of the person that you have been working to become. I've worked 50+ hour weeks and it became a breath of fresh air to take a personal day, filling in my own agenda with things that I really wanted to do. Money is an essential tool to function in this world but it isn't an essential piece to achieve happiness.
I had my heart broken this year but I also learned how to open my heart in ways I never knew. I cried tears of sadness this year but also smiled with tears of happiness. I went to hell only to be brought back to life and I fell down hard only to get back up to work even harder. All in all, this past year was full of passion and love.
I know that 2012 has more things to bestow upon me and I'm looking forward to every second of that roller coaster ride of a life. "It should never take you a new year to realize that you need to change something." Life will not wait for you so don't second guess yourself, take a risk and seize every moment that comes your way. I promise you, you won't regret it.
"I won't worry and I won't waste my time. Don't let the days go by...breathe in each moment, you can find hope."
I was blessed to be surrounded by wonderful people this year. I had to bid a due to some but I was able to create new relationships while being able to strengthen existing ones. When people cross your path in life, I believe it is in contribution for a bigger purpose. Sometimes the purpose is unknown at the current moment and sometimes the overlay of paths vary in length but there are things that people teach you; it helps build your character but it also helps tear down your walls of ignorance. Many of us often forget that we are not perfect and in the end, we are all human.
Along with the wonderful people were the beautiful experiences. A wise man told me "do not lose the romance of life." So, I pushed myself more than ever to take leaps of faith. We all want something to better ourselves but we are often scared of the unknown. I put myself out there and put myself in the most vulnerable situations. I didn't have time to be scared because when it comes to something that you really want in life, the worst thing that can happen is that you are told no. Rejection prepares you for something better and gives you motivation to strive for better. Rejection and determination this year helped me reinvent my craft, helped my career, allowed me to travel and helped me create memories that I will never forget.
I learned to not get lost in the crowd, to stick to my beliefs and to never forget my worth. I feel that once you lose who you are, you lose the essence of what you been striving for and you lose vision of the person that you have been working to become. I've worked 50+ hour weeks and it became a breath of fresh air to take a personal day, filling in my own agenda with things that I really wanted to do. Money is an essential tool to function in this world but it isn't an essential piece to achieve happiness.
I had my heart broken this year but I also learned how to open my heart in ways I never knew. I cried tears of sadness this year but also smiled with tears of happiness. I went to hell only to be brought back to life and I fell down hard only to get back up to work even harder. All in all, this past year was full of passion and love.
I know that 2012 has more things to bestow upon me and I'm looking forward to every second of that roller coaster ride of a life. "It should never take you a new year to realize that you need to change something." Life will not wait for you so don't second guess yourself, take a risk and seize every moment that comes your way. I promise you, you won't regret it.
"I won't worry and I won't waste my time. Don't let the days go by...breathe in each moment, you can find hope."
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