There will always be people that will try and take credit for your ideas and work. However, don't let it get to you because you know the truth.
People like that are just fascinated at the risks you take because unlike them you put accountability for the words that you speak.
People that are constantly in search for recognition obviously care too much of what people think. People like that lack initiative, innovation and hard work. You do it for the love of it and most importantly you do it for yourself.
Be flattered that someone is watching your next move. Consider it your sense of paying it forward to people that need a boost of confidence to their ego.
Let those people do what they have to do in order for them to feel adequate about their lives.
Do what you have always been doing;DOING YOU.
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."
"You better stand for something or you will fall for anything." Too many times people would rather sit on the sidelines and have other people make the plays; people that would rather sit in the passengers seat and grant others the control over their destination when WE ALL should take fate by the neck and show it who is boss.
I’ve seen it happen to some of the best and I’m not going to lie, I’ve been through it. Sometimes I’ve gone down without a fight and have bitten my tongue just to save myself from strain. However, we all know that life will never be easy and shouldn't be submissive to something that we strongly believe in especially when it comes to our happiness. Plateaus in life are usually lessons of needed change in disguise and we don’t want to be the ones that are disappointed because we had given up right before the breakthrough.
I know a lot of people that are not afraid to work hard for what they want but are standing around for an opportunity to come knocking on the front door. However if we want something so bad, we need to go and get it. If we want something done right, we have to do them ourselves. We shouldn’t wait because people that wait will only be given what was left behind by others that didn’t settle.
You are worth only as much as YOU say you are. You can rely on luck or you can get up off of your behind and align your own stars. You may be taking a risk by standing up but you may never know the results of the "what ifs" if you don't do anything. You can either be the pessimist that complains about the wind, be the optimist that expects the wind to change or you can be the realist that adjusts the sails to waters of ideal conditions.
The power of our imaginations and our desires is what makes us infinite. So do what your heart desires and what your soul yearns. Do what you think is right. When you taste the fruits of your own labor, you'll never taste anything sweeter. I'm at a point where I'm trying to search for my life's purpose and I know that this time around that my purpose is not to synthesize with the rest of the band or by audience requests but to solely live to the beat of my own drum.
In life you have to stay hungry because closed mouths don’t get fed.
..."Let the sun shine on your face and don't let your life go to waste. Now is the time, got to make up your mind. Let it shine on you."...
Monday, September 26, 2011
"FORGET what you knew was proper.
RAISE HAVOC and disturb the peace.
In life, no one dies a virgin. Life f*cks us all."
I just don't get it. When guys lie to us females. I've always said that a girls intuition is stronger than a man's because it is an instinct that is a part of our nature. The females that I run with are very observant, mindful and are debatable. So when guys try to lie, they are just wasting their time. A girls intuition is something that should not be reckoned with.
Sometimes it makes me wonder about guys that think that they can run game or blatantly tell a white or half lie. Guys like that may think that we nice women are gullible and are fools but don't you worry; in the end we will have the last laugh because we have seen it all to many times. Some guys boast that they can blind side women with their ways but what those guys don't know is that we see right through them and we see it as this: just a different competitor with a play that is about to get juked.
So guys be mindful of this. When you run something and us women don't give you crap about it, don't be so quick to celebrate with your boys--just so that you can tell them just how you big of a man you are for getting away with it. Because inside we are laughing at the fact that you think we are so naive not to think things through. And if we ask you something that hits a nerve of yours, don't get so irritated because smart women don't just conjure up stories just for fun or just so that they can add a little drama to make the relationship interesting; women ask because they don't want to assume. What guys need to realize is that women are like the police, we can have all the evidence in the world but we still want a confession.
It is not that we are monitoring you, it is just a different story when you try to the test the mutual trust of the relationship. When guys lie, it is a sign of disrespect because you would think that anyone in general would be adult enough to tell you the truth. So when us females ask you a question, don't give us an alibi. Tell us what really went down. Lies don't end a relationship, usually the truth does but if you got enough time to compose a lie then the obvious truth is, you can't deal with the actuality of your actions.
So let's keep it real. If you are not real with yourself then you don't deserve to be with someone that has been nothing but honest with you. So boys don't test a woman's intuition because it is as if you are trying to substantiate their intelligence. And just because you got away with things in the past, don't underestimate...because the love that she has for you, it will trump over yours. Just when you thought that she won't sense a thing, love always has a way of catching up to lies and when the time comes, your lies won't be able to look her straight in the eyes.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen."
When I think of all the memories that I have with my daddy, I can only help but smile. He taught me to fight back when the boys in grade school would give me trouble and he still tells me the same to this day. Because of him I know how to drive a stick shift and have this fascination with motor vehicles. My daddy is something else I tell you, he makes sure that I appreciate the simple things in life.
I remember when I was in high school, I visited my family in Virginia. It was my last night and we just finished taking the mustang out for a spin. Before we went to bed; he pulled me aside and as I looked up, he had tears in his eyes. He told me that he was sorry that he and my mom didn't work out, that he did all he could...that by leaving, it was the best for all of us. He told me how sorry he was that he wasn't the perfect father and that he loved me more than he loved himself. I'll never forget that moment. For someone as hard headed as my daddy to sit me down to apologize for the lost years of my childhood and to tell me how he was still trying to find himself; to this day there are just not enough words to tell you how much that meant.
I know that there is no manual to tell someone how to take care of a child but I commend my daddy for trying and for staying in my life. Thank you daddy for all that you've done. For always trying to teach me right from wrong. For always making me laugh, for always reminding me that I can come to you about anything. For always encouraging me and most importantly, for always reminding me that no matter how old I get that I will always be the most important girl in your life. Happy Father's Day. I love you.
..."With daddy's attitude so i know the biggest job ahead of me is doing my best to try and teach you right when you're wrong...my gift for life is seeing the smile on your face"...
Monday, May 23, 2011
"Revealing the truth is like lighting a match. It can either bring light or set your world on fire."
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
"Don't think that love has be to permanent, and it will make your love life more beautiful because you will know that today you are together, and tomorrow perhaps you will have to part. Love comes like a fresh, fragrant breeze into your home, fills it with freshness and fragrance, remains as long as existence allows it, and then moves out. You should not try to close all your doors, or the same fresh breeze will become absolutely stale. In life,everything is changing and change is beautiful; it gives you more and more experience, more and more awareness, more and more maturity."
Often times in relationships, you go through stages. There are the stages of being strangers, getting to know each other, then eventually falling for each other, etc. People then move on to being boyfriend and girlfriend or if they are lucky, they get to the stage of having a "happily ever after." However, what about the other couples. The couples that are still in limbo. The couples that are awaiting to make it "official."
You know what I'm talking about, the couples that say that they are together but are not really together. The couples that sleep over each others houses or the couples that show up together at functions all the time but say that they aren't a "couple" because they are not "official." What does it all really mean of being official anyway? To some it may mean commitment, being faithful, sign of devotion or taking it to the next level. The list goes on and on but tell me this...What about the couples that don't care for the title? Yeah, I know there are some people that want the guys to man up and put a ring on it but what about the people that are enjoying the moment? People may say that the two of you are scared and are wasting your time but then again, since when has it been a waste of time being happy?
Like the the couples that don't have to disclose their personal business when people ask invasive questions. The couples that don't have to tell everyone on their facebook who they are kicking it with on their downtime. The couples that don't need fancy jewelry to remind them of how much they are loved. The couples that don't necessarily need a title to prove to another person when in a crowd of a million, that they are the only one that they notice. The couples that just merely enjoy the company of that one special person.
Because to some, it doesn't matter where the future may lead the two of them. Whether together or apart, those are the type of people that are happy that they had met, are happy that they are spending time together, are happy that their lives have intertwined in this lifetime, and are happy that they will have memories that can never be taken away. Because people like me don't need a title to express just how much my heart feels for you.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
"It is ALL LIES until YOU SEE it with your own eyes."
Don't Be So Naive.
Don't Assume.
Don't Gossip or Spread Them.
Get Your Facts.
Pay No Mind But Your Own.
You sit on the floor in the midst of it all, questioning yourself because...
He cheated on your heart.
She left you and won't come back.
He took advantage of you or she doesn't seem to notice you.
I know that smile you put on is to disguise the pain.
But babe, don't let that gloomy feeling consume you.
Don't let that feeling force you to re-evaluate your characteristics because there is nothing wrong with who you are.
Because you should NEVER have to think twice.
Just because one person can't recognize or appreciate you for the wonderful person that you are then baby, it just wasn't meant to be.
Everyone has flaws and imperfections but don't let their criticism taunt you.
Remember my love, it is not about perfection but all about progression.
In this world, genuine people like you are rare.
People will try to influence you and break you down but you don't need to fit into any mold because my love when it comes to you, any industry standard can't compare.
While others see nothing, a special individual will take the time to understand and see just how amazing you are...just like I have.
So love, don't live life by pretending to be something that you aren't because in the end, you will just be fooling yourself.
Even though they abandoned you on that stage to ridicule you, step back and bow out gracefully.
As the curtains close, take a deep breath and pick up the pieces of your heart during this intermission.. And tell yourself this:
Don't let heartbreak or a mistake phase you and don't ever think that you are never good enough. You are a shining light baby, some people just can't handle the glare.
It's not about the amount of falls that we endure, it's all about the amount of times that we get back up to continue this journey called life.
To admit that you are hurting is not a sign of weakness but a sign that you are human...
A sign that you have a heart...a sign that you've let your guard down and have allowed yourself to feel.
So baby go ahead and let out your one last cry.
Cause while others continue to sit amongst the clouds with their bluffs...with the sincerity that you exemplify, baby you'll be beaming above them all.
..."Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart. Tears don't mean you're losing...Just be true to who you are"...
You think back and wish you never met him.
You think back and wish you never laid your eyes on her.
You throw away all of the letters, the cards, the love notes.
You donate the stuffed animals and clothes that they bought to the Salvation Army.
You drag those pictures and videos on your computer to the trash bin.
You click the delete button on those emails and those status updates.
You discard that music playlist, the mixtapes they made or gave and even discard songs that remind you of them.
You close that secret webpage account and even take off that tab on your internet browser that links you to their blog.
You unfollow them on twitter and de-friend them on Facebook.
You try to forget their face.
You try to forget their smell.
You try to forget how warm it felt to have their hand in yours.
You try to forget the happy times you folks experienced, the hardships that you both have overcame, and the rewards of just being together brought.
All in all, you try to do what you have to do to forget them.
But no matter what you promise your head, your heart or your soul...
You can not deny their significance to your life. So you can go ahead and try to live your life like that person never existed but you most definitely can not forget how at one point... they made you feel loved.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
..."Sometimes it's the things you can't measure that gives people the most success"...
- Aaron Rodgers
Green Bay Packers Quaterback
After recieving the MVP award for the 2011 Super Bowl
Friday, February 18, 2011
..."For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope that you have the strength to start all over again."...
-Benjamin Button The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
“When I am assertive, I’m a b*tch. When a man is assertive, he’s a boss. He bossed up. No negative connotation behind ‘bossed up.’ But lots of negative connotation behind being a b*tch."
- Niki Minaj, MTV Pink Friday Special
Let's elaborate on this shall we?
When a woman is assertive she is not only called the "b" word but is also called many other things with negative connotations to it. There are so many interpretations of how a woman should carry herself but tons of smirks, words spoken under breath and dirty looks when a woman tries to stand up for herself and tries to get the respect that she deserves. We all know that respect is earned but at the same time, you will continue to be treated the way you allow people to treat you.
Know the difference between a woman being assertive because she wants more for herself and knows what she deserves versus a girl impersonating a grown woman, running around acting like she has credentials but has no evidence to support her timeline. I've said it before, a man that is all "bossed up" is a hustler because he reaps the rewards of the game by being assertive and by calling shots. Call a woman a "b" or a diva when she is being assertive but really, she is also a hustler in her own respect. That woman too is also "bossed up" because she sees opportunities and does not need any man to coach her. She takes it upon herself to observe, to work hard and to innovate the traditions of the sport, all to be considered as one of the best within the same playing field and all to beat even the best OGs in the game.
..."All my ladies get it up. I see you, I do the same. Take it to another level. No passengers on my plane"...
I’m proud to be a female but the one stereotype that I dislike about being one is the fact that women can’t do what men can do. Not to be conceited but I know that I can probably do some things better than some fellas. I just hate it when people dub the females as the weaker gender.
I just had a conversation with a friend last night and he said that women can never have a friends with benefits relationship because women are the ones that are always getting emotionally attached. Now let’s hold up, that may be true to some aspect but I know a handful of independent women that can drop and kick a man to the curb if his performance is not up to par and I know TOO MANY dudes that are worse than some of my girls when it comes to emotional acknowledgement.
Why have males been considered the “stronger” gender anyway? Because society says so? Because by science testosterone is stronger than estrogen? I think differently. I hated it when people called me a tom-boy just because I loved sports, I rather rock jeans and a shirt to school than a dress and because my favorite color was black versus pink. I even remember telling some family friends that I was on my high school wrestling team and having them look at me weird while saying, “wrestling is a boys sport.” And mind you what team won states at our high school? Yes, you guessed it! Moanalua’s female “CAMOGA” wrestling team. You better reckon that I beat all of my close guy friends when it comes to a game of tekken. And you better choose your words wisely if you think that I don’t hustle as hard as them guys.
Little girls should not have the idea that they can’t do something because it is a man’s job. I know that I was told that when I was growing up and was considered a trouble maker because I went against of what a “proper girl should do.” A wise man told me that the strongest people that are in his life are women and that rings true for me too. I think the reason why the strong people in my life are women are because the female gender has evolved to have the ability to endure by means of societal and cultural pressure.
I’m not a feminist, I’m not so quick to diss the male gender by unreasonable means and I know for a fact that there are some women that make other smart and classy females like myself look bad. I just think that us females can strut our swag, kick it down right and roll just like fellas. It really doesn’t matter what gender you are…it’s just all about backing up what we say we can do and out doing what we have previously done in order to refine ourselves.
But don’t get it twisted again because us females can….
“do it like a brotha, do it like a dude...we can do it like the man' dem”
The announcer reminded the crowd, "15 minutes till midnight!" Sure there were familiar faces at the event but I was on the clock and had no time to socialize. There I was with the camera in hand, snapping photos of people surrounded by the ones that they care about. These party goers were enjoying themselves. Maybe it was the drink specials, the music, the venue, the thousands of people there, the fact that they were there to end an old year and ring in a new one...I'm not too sure what it was but there was good-feel vibe.
As the minutes ticked, I made my way up to the top balcony and sat down for a little. I reviewed the pictures that were on my camera and looked around. There I was by myself for the 3rd year in a row. I thought about how I spent the previous New Years, all of them working. Do I regret it? Not at all but New Years is my favorite holiday and all these years when the clock strikes, I've been spending them alone.
As the announcer shouted, "5 more minutes till 2011!," I took my place with a fellow photographer as we updated our twitter accounts.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
Happy New Year!
Photo taken by me for nonstophonolulu.com at Aloha Tower.
As everyone turned to the ones that they loved to say bye to 2010, I could hear murmurs of joy. As my shutter captured New Years kisses and hugs, at midnight for a short three seconds--I closed my eyes and I made a promise to myself. Often times in life, we turn to the ones that we love to celebrate or to confined the happiest and lowest moments of our lives. As I stood there alone while everyone had someone, I told myself this is a new year. No resolutions of eating less junk food, saving money or even weight lost this new year. This year will be a year of gain. A year to gain knowledge, experience, and life lessons. I thought about all of things that I have gone through during 2010 and boy was it a roller coaster. Through the pummels I still had a lot to be proud about. Just finished a Master degree, stronger relationships with the people that I love, new beginnings with people that were placed in my life for a reason and most of all memories that will forever be etched in my heart.
My promise:
To make this year, MY YEAR.
To never give up when times get hard.
To push myself beyond my assumptions.
To make my dreams come true.
And the only way I will be able to do it is if I just be me.
No one will get you to where you want to be but yourself.
"On the road to riches don't forget to stop and take pictures. Cause life ain't about where you finish but what you've learned along the way."
I recently graduated from Hawaii Pacific University with a Master of Arts in Communication and Law Mediation. As I look back at these past two years of grad school, I've made so many sacrifices to complete my program. I don't regret anything because I've grown into a better person because of those sacrifices. However without the people that were willing to come along for the ride during my journey, I would not be here writing this blog.
My family. My large Filipino family. Even though I hardly saw them and missed out on family events, they were the very ones that would save me a plate of food after a long day of work and made sure that I never lost track of my goals. I wish my papa were here to see how far I've come because he was the very one that sent my mom to the U.S., he was the very one that told me that education was key and was the very one that told me that nothing is ever handed, that you have to work hard to get to where you want to be in life. One year of research doing a thesis and working well over 40 hours a week, during those sleepless night and early mornings those words stuck with me. Iya-iya ten ka pa.
My friends. My crazy but well grounded friends. I neglected them from time to time and often traded nights of quality catch up time with nights at home hitting the books or working. However the ones that truly understood where I wanted to be encouraged me as much as they could and I love them for that. I've learned that in this world, you learn who to trust and learn that people come and go but every person teaches you something. To all of my friends, thank you for the lessons of patience, strength, and friendship.
Then there are my "Lama Girls." We are all now out of college, are living all over the world, are getting engaged/are married and are now career-oriented professionals. No matter what we all go through in life, I know that I can rely on these girls to always be there for me. We have this impeccable way of understanding each other. These are my sisters from multiple misters. Many guys are scared of us because when we are together, we are a force that can't be reckoned with. We have so many nights where we cried, laughed, and drank. Then there is my BFF since the 1st grade, Chan-chan. Even though we are thousands of miles away, I don't think I could have kept sane without our weekly recaps. lol. love you sis! When I think of my girls, I think of that Drake line, "I got a small circle, I’m not with different crews. We walk the same path, but got on different shoes. Live in the same building, but we got different views."
"If you aint been a part of it at least you got to witness"
Now that this year is over, time to close this chapter and start another. Let's go!
..."It may not mean nothing to yall, understand nothing was done for me. So I don't plan on stopping at all"...
Thursday, December 9, 2010
..."Guys are sometimes like bottles of wine. the first taste may not be all that great. So you leave it and let it age. When the time is right, you go back to open that same bottle, to find out if that wine is a perfect pairing to what you have on your table."...
Recently, several friends have ask me what I look for in a guy and some laughed at me because it doesn't surprise them that my list never changes. Besides the obvious of a person being faithful, here are the traits that I adore when dealing with the opposite sex:
5. Humor
I've always said that if a guy can make me laugh then he is a keeper. Life has its serious moments and humor during those moments helps ease the tension and establishes some sort of comfort. Someone that has a sense of humor shows me that they are optimistic. In life, you need to surround yourself with people like that because who likes debbie downers? Good things happen. Bad things happen. Life happens. If that one person can laugh with me when we've both said or have done something foolish, then that means hours of fun just being in each other's company.
4. Adventurous
I've sky dived. I love the outdoors. I love trying all sorts of food. I love to travel. I feel that life is too short and that we should be crossing everything off of our bucket lists while having the time of our lives. I dislike boring. I dislike not being challenged. So every so once in a while, I seek out adventures to conquer. What makes these adventures a lot more memorable are the people that you do them with. I know that many people have phobias but if you hold my hand while I conquer a fear of mine, I promise that I will do the same. Life should be an adventure. There are many things that may scare us but the one thing that I've always tried to tell myself is this: "Being afraid got no one anywhere."
3. Ambition/Dreams
My guy has to be ambitious because ambition means drive. My guy can't be all talk and no implementation because the ladies can agree with me when I say that an ambitious man with a plan is sexy. The thing is that I have dreams and ambitions too. Things happen for a reason and in this life, sometimes you only have one shot. There is nothing that I love more about a person than their will to support me to help reach my dreams. Get it straight, I will support my man in any way that I can as well, even if it means distance between us or time taken away from us. Why do you say? Because like Wale said, "I like the person that you are but I’m in love with the person that you have potential to be."
2. Family
I come from two huge Filipino families. On top of that, being born and raised here in the islands, family is everything to me. To me, family means foundation. If you don't get along with my families or vice versa then I'm sorry honey, it's just not going to work. I can also tell a lot about a guy by the way he talks and treats his family. Meeting a significant other's family gives me a sneak peak of how he was brought up and how it may be if we were to ever settle down. Like what they say, you are marrying "into the family."
1. Intellect
I wear many different hats and I inter-mingle with all sorts of people. I have the career-girl hat, the school-girl hat, the fun girl hat, the protective sister hat and more. So my guy needs to know how to converse with all types of people and needs to have endurance to keep up with me. I need to be able to bring my boy out to a friends bbq but at the same time, he needs to dress-up clean too. My boy needs to have a personality that can adapt. The reason why intellect is #1 is because no matter what my guy and I may go through, he needs to respect my mind and must have the ability to bring new things to my table. He and I may not agree on a lot of things but at the same time, I love a person that can hold their ground and explain their reasoning. Nothing intrigues me more than a person that can hold a conversation while enhancing my mind set.
So I don't care if you can't buy me a house with a white-picked fence and I don't care if you aren't tall, dark or handsome. Money doesn't buy my happiness and looks eventually fade with age. So you can throw out those pick up lines and screw those dating rules...because on the real, you need to find someone that compliments you.
I know that in this world, people are not perfect but I'd like to think that there is someone out there for everyone.
..."Oh baby, bring it all to me but I don't need no fancy cars or diamond rings. Oh baby, bring it all to me. Give me your time, your love, your space, your energy."...
I'm that girl that will be the only one kicking with the boys. A curious mind constantly trying to find things to be enlightened. With eyes like a camera’s shutter and a thought process of a journalist. A girl that swears her life is way more exciting away from her little island of paradise they call Hawaii Nei’ yet knows that there are no other destinations that will never ever compare. A free spirit that tries to look for constant positives in this inconsistent world of ours. A girl that dances to this weird off-tempo beat and loving every second of it.
