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Wednesday, May 27, 2009

i've noticed...

Now that summer is officially here, I've been spending more time with family. People would think that since school is out, that I would be letting loose but working 16-hour days have worn me out a bit.

After a workout session, My cousin and I went and ate Genki. After that we ate some yogurt.
We had some interesting conversation topics and it hit me when she said, "you make the game into an art." I've noticed that since I was 15, I've worked my ass off in order to take care of myself and my responsibilities. I've always been so caught up in the hustle that sometimes I've never stopped to smell the flowers, to pause for a bit and appreciate the little things. Spending time with family these past couple weeks have made be realize that no matter who breaks my heart, with all of my flaws, no matter what happens, they will always be there--to love me unconditionally.

My cousin also noted that I always have to be doing something because it makes me feel as if "I'm being productive." That may be the case but as I think about it, I'm constantly on the grind because it keeps me occupied and sometimes it fills the void of not having a significant other. However, what i fear the most is that I will be where I want to be career-wise and I will be there all alone--no one to share it with. But what can I say, things like love have become more complicated as I've got older and rarely do you find genuine people that want to know the real you without having alternative motives. My cousin (who is also my best friend) says that I get bored easily which is true but its because I have to be stimulated intellectually. In the end if a person and I can hours of wonderful conversation over topics that go up and down the range, then you got me on the hook. Because appearance can fade, the financial situation can disintegrate, and people can only talk so much. For me countless conversation leads to trust because conversation reveals so much about a person and gives you an idea of why they are the way they are.

"when it hits, you have to make it worth the fall"


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