Dear Other Girl

I know all about you. The things that were said to you and the things that were done. You grew to love him from the little conversations that you folks had, the little moments that you felt that were yours. You felt that if you strung along that he would soon recognize that you were better than me. You thought that if you put up with his bullsh*t that he would see that your love was unconditional despite all of the drama. You hated me because I was the one that he came home to. You hated me because you knew wholeheartedly he was not yours.

I know he held your hand as he said “I would never leave you.” He held you close and kissed you as he said, “I’ll always love you.” For every lie you still left your door open for him. You went over great lengths to make sure that he was happy--even when you knew that he was loving me. I know that you beat yourself inside because he was still doing the things that he said he wouldn't do anymore. When you were calling/texting and he didn't answer, know that I saw your name pop up on the caller id. I felt that I had the upper hand because he was with me while you were lonely at home.

Although in all retrospect, I know exactly how you feel because what we denied in our heads was that HE WAS PLAYING THE BOTH OF US FOR FOOLS.

You say that you are a smart, strong and determined woman. Well so am I..yet we let a guy come in between of what we said we stood for. Irrational to think that he truly loved us and naive enough to think that things would change. Believe me when I say, I know EXACTLY how you feel. Despite the love that I thought we had, it obviously wasn't enough for him to cut all ties with you. The promises that he made to you, he also made to me..just when I thought that a certain fight was gonna be the last straw, those empty promises gave me unrealistic reasons…yet I still stayed and you still stayed. We were never superior over each other and we felt that we had him on lock when in actuality it was the other way around.

When we would fight, I blamed you. I thought that if you weren't in the equation that he and I would be better off, that we could be the couple that we have been building up to be. I would say that I never cared if he hung out with you because I thought that he loved me and I accepted his excuse of “trying to be on good terms with everyone in his past and present.” I found myself making the same apology for supposedly overreacting… However what I soon realized was that it wasn't you to blame...I was to blame. I was allowing all of this to happen.

I just want you to know that your feelings are probably mutual to mines. We fell hard because we thought that he was different. We thought that he was genuine and forgave him for the witnessed mistakes because we believe that no one is perfect. We thought that there was something wrong with our love so we tried to up our game on each other but in reality, there was nothing wrong at all. We cried ourselves to sleep, we forgave the hidden secrets/agendas…and despite each episode, our hearts gave all that it had. He said that because there was no clear definition of the relationship, we could not say that he cheated on us. Yet that is what we felt in our hearts.

This is not to call you out. This is not to rub what he had in your face and this is not to remind you what a fool you were…but this to tell you that I was in the same Bermuda triangle as you, I was just sitting in a different boat on the other side. I want to commend you for staying true to your promises, to tell you that I don't have any ill feelings towards you. This is an entry to remind you and myself that we need to stop settling for a mirage and to start finding something REAL.

From one woman to another, we held on for so long because we thought that it was true love..when really, life was waiting for us to let go in order for it to bring us back to the beginning. To remind us who we really are and to empower us with a feeling that we had forgotten in this whole mess...the feeling to be truly happy and to put the love of ourselves as a priority over everything else.


..."This going to be the last time we say goodbye ain't going to be no reruns of this episode"...