Lovin' For The Last Time

Because homie Jozen wrote a blog on how it would be like to be with someone for the last time, it made me think. Yeah, I agree. I would be sad, just knowing that it would be the last time being intimate with that person. It has to sting a little. However as bitter sweet as it can be, you have to make that last time memorable. Because if it's going to be the last time, you better make it so memorable that there is no way that you could deny that very moment, even if you two don't ever talk again.

The emotion, the attachment, the memories, the physical touch, the tension--it all has to add up. You want to leave on a good note and so you might as well give it all you got until you drop. Release and ease the tension a little. Then I heard this song by Britney Spears (yeah, yeah, I'm a fan) and the lyrics are EXACTLY how I would want it if it were my last time. Who knows, the last time could be so good that it might be the solution you need to reconcile your differences. ;)

..."So come on won’t you give me something to remember? Baby shut your mouth and turn me inside out. Even though we couldn’t last forever, baby. You know what I want right now."

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

-- Martin Luther King Jr.

Friends Till The End

"I'm a movement by myself but a force when we're together."

                                                                                                                        - Laurie V., homegirl

There are so many people in this world and it is on us on who we let into our world. Some I have known for just a few minutes and some I've known for years, but all great people in their own right. It truly amazes me on the things that they offer me, whether it is knowledge or memories--I would not have them in any other way. All of the friends at this present moment are blue prints of what true friends are all about.

This past month has been crazy for me both professionally and personally. It is just so reassuring to know that I have a bunch of people in my corner to support and encourage me in everything that my heart desires; even if it meant having my back on things that they did not personally feel comfortable with. It hurt to break down for a hot minute and surrender myself to the madness but both my best guy friends and girl friends put me in check. Because a true friend will spit the bitter sweet truth, they would never lie to your face but put salt to heal your wounds and to restore your faith.

And just because, these people went far and beyond. It made me realize why we are still friends to this day and it is because of rocky moments like these that help define our relationships. They'll hold my hand or let me lean on their shoulder because they are loyal. They'll rescue me from the storm or catch a grenade for me and not expect anything in return. They'll even hear the same damn problems and tell you the same advice, willing to do it over and over again--because they know that you've done the same. These people got Miguel's "sure thing" love for me and I got them.

To my loves that have called, chatted, texted, and/or spent a little QT with me...I love you. Thank you for turning the sad tears into happy ones. Thank you for lifting my spirits from the drenches. Thank you for replacing my bulb and turning my swag back on. Thank you for reminding me of why you all love me and why you'll always be in my life. I love the fact that I have a force that can't be reckoned with.



"If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea, I'll sail the world to find you. If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see, I'll be the light to guide you."

"It is ALL LIES until YOU SEE it with your own eyes."

Don't Be So Naive.
Don't Assume.
Don't Gossip or Spread Them.
Get Your Facts.
Pay No Mind But Your Own.


Because YOU are suppose to be GROWN. 

♥Yours Truly



This Is My Confession...

I don't have a lot of sand in my hour glass babe. I over stuff every pocket I have, I'm always running on E and my stomach is never satisfied but hungry for more. So let's not sugar coat anything, let's cut the chase and let's do things the way we have always done it - STRAIGHT raw. This is becoming ridiculously redundant and honestly, we have better things to be working on with people that truly matter to us.

So let me air it and lay it out for you. This may be much for you but I have to be true to myself and admit this out loud. I like you and I care for you. I know that you know, yet we casually bring it up and go on like nothing was ever mentioned. We say that we want to live in the moment, create more moments yet never lose these moments. Although, these emotions that I have contradict what what we say yet encourage my gestures. All I really want to do is kick it with you, to compliment you, to be enough for you.

I don't expect anything but honesty yet it seems that I can't trust myself with you. My intuition has never failed me and yet here I am telling it to kick rocks when deep down inside I know that it's just trying to warn me for what's ahead. I know you feel like I'll never catch on but I have to give you a round of applause because your performance is a show that I've seen before. Like when you whisper little somethings in my ear to get me going. I'll admit that they are pretty slick but just know that those lines are empty nothings that I find amusing because you can't fool a girl that has already mastered those plays. There are things that can play with my mind but I'll never let anyone compromise my dignity for their own self-assurance. Baby, you are feeding me a dish of bull because to you I'm just miss "right now." But I'll reiterate this right now; I'm the miss that is right-headed enough to say these things vociferously without personal anguish.

I've never asked you to dish a dime but to just spend time. I relentlessly work hard to be the best that I can be and I want you to see that. I want you to acknowledge the fact that I'm not one of those girls that will be stuck on stupid and pause their lives because of love. I want you to absorb that I'm a woman that is doing what she loves, that is high on life, discovering the world, and meeting new people..yet anxiously awaiting to come home to you - a reputable man that loves her.

So yes, commitment may have been a relevant issue but the only thing that I want babe is for you to commit to the nurturing aspect of this relationship. We may not ever end up together but I want us to become a cultivation of knowledge and experience so that we not only help or learn from each other; but feed off the force of inspiration that only comes alive because we are a part of each others lives.

With these words my love, please excuse the magnitude-- I just wanted to get this off my chest. It's better to reveal a taste of what is going on inside then regret words that I never had the encourage to utter. So if this is too much for you I totally understand because with or without you...baby, the show must go on. So for the sake of you and I, don't waste my time, respect my mind, and understand my grind.

I can only hope that you are truly the man that I've always pictured you to be.