Secure Yourself

So your girl gets a text from a guy that she says is just a friend or you find that your man don't come home on time. You think all these wild things in your head because things seem to add up and so you start to think the worst.

My ladies and gents, you know what I'm talking about. When you accuse your other half and start to point fingers and accuse them of cheating, lying or betraying your trust or it might be the other way around where you are the one being accused when they got no evidence and yet when you try to explain yourself, they don't believe what is coming out of your mouth. I understand that there may be some circumstances that give you a legit reason to question so let’s run through this for a second.

HE/SHE CHEATED ON YOU BEFORE:
Okay, I'll give it to you that you got questions of where they would be at but then again if you are questioning all the time of their whereabouts, then you just causing yourself stress. Let them run the streets with their friends because in the end, you got to trust. It may be hard to get back on track at first but think about it, you decided to give it a second chance right? Plus if there is no trust of some sort then it is not going to work—flat out. In the end if they screw up again red handed...then it obvious that they did not learn from their mistakes.

YOU CHEATED ON THEM:
So you got red-handed cheating on them and so you think that they will go off and do the same to you. If you think that they would really do that to you, then that ish is just petty. Like Wycelf said, "two wrongs won't make it right" and if they are really doing that for revenge then do you really think that it's worth giving it another shot? For every wrong that you folks got going, it is a waste of time having to think of ways to get back at the other person. Love is not a competition, it don't keep score and if you keep up with this mentality then you folks will just be playing the same game over and over...Therefore denying the both of you access to play onto the next level.

THEY GOT A LOT OF GIRL/BOY FRIENDS:
If you really think that they would be hooking up with their friends then why are they still with you? This again may be all up in your head. I'm the type of girl that can hang ten with the boys..so like me, a lot of my close friends got a ring of peeps that mostly consist of people from the opposite sex. I find that having a lot of girl friends =unecessary drama and I know that a lot of guys=ego issues. If you see her wearing her promise ring (no matter if it’s on the ring finger) then its all good. At least she keeps that thing on. If your man got girls blowing up his phone, it should be all good. As long as those beezies know that he got a girl, then why trip? His family and friends know that you are his main squeeze. If you think that their friends got feelings for your significant other, don't let let that eat at your self-esteem because if they really wanted to start something with their "other friend" then they would have already left you for them or if you can't take the heat because it bothers you so much and they just won’t stop--then baby if you can't handle the heat then get out of the kitchen. There is no bad in having friends.


YOU GO THROUGH THEIR ISH & FIND EVIDENCE:
Okay so you read that text message. You see that beezy calling your man "love" or "hun." First ask your other half about it and if they give you a reasonable answer then the issue should be settled with and both of you should move on. However, I feel that stuff like that is not sufficient evidence. I call people those words all the time in terms of politeness. If you got sexual connotations in between those lines then make it aware that you feel uncomfortable with it but at the same time, you could also be reading the message wrong. Remember now, you can't hear tone within those messages...people joke around with sarcastic intentions. Evidence to me is plain and straight up raw, things that have no extinguisher to put out the flame. Getting caught in the actual act or having the other scandal confront you to the point where you hear it straight from their mouth--then that is where you have to draw the line and cut the chord on that mothereffer.

I know how it feels to be exhausted because my man did not believe that I'm at the actual place where I say I'm at. Always having to explain my whereabouts, why I didn't pick up that call or why I didn't call first thing in the morning and even when I were to speak the truth--he believes its a lie. Been there. I have had a boyfriend go through my email, my myspace account, message/email friends to stay away from me (because he thought that they got feelings for me) and I even had a boyfriend go through my phone and make actual calls to people threatening them.

Know this ladies and gents...insecurity drives a good love away. Be secure with what you got because if you don't respect you other half's space, privacy or words then they will up and surely bounce. Trust me when I say this...jealousy on a 24/7 alarm system is not good at all. If you know that you have something good and give it precedence on why you hold on to it so tight...know that if you squeeze something too tight, you will break it down and it will sooner or later slip through your fingers. Try to put yourself in their shoes because you too will find it more irritating than a heat rash. Recongize what type of person you are. Make sure that you are loving your other half with all that you have and that you are treating them well because if you are not giving a person what they want, they will eventually go off to find someone that can satisfy their needs. Don't analyze something more than it is, don't expect anything more than that person can give and don't try to change the person because then you are just altering everything that you fell in love with in the first place.

Realize that you are the one that they come home to at night, that you are the one that they say i love you to, and that they could have been with whoever they wanted but with all that you are....they chose you.

"Better keep it real wit yourself or you’ll end up by yourself"