Being Too Comfortable

All of the serious relationships that I have been in , they have all past a year and a half. After seeing Sex In The City 2, it really made me think about what makes a relationship work. Some people say that the main things are the willingness to compromise and the willingness to love unconditionally. Although that may be somewhat true, I have to admit that the one thing that kept my longest relationship going had to be the surprises.

My girlfriend Nicole and Rach agreed with me when we had a GNO. It’s true. Good surprises at the right time can make all the difference in the world for a girl. Surprises will sometimes help reassure her that she has a good man at her side that understands her. Surprises could also reassure him that she will always be there through thick and thin. I mean what girl does not appreciate those “just because” flowers or those unexpected “just me and you” candle light dinners. Those simple texts of “I love you” just when you had a bad day or waking up to breakfast in bed after pulling an all nighter.

I think that having lack of surprises in a relationship often times makes the relationship seem to comfortable. I mean don’t get me wrong, releasing a pfft fart here and there and waking up to your love in the morning with stank AM breath is a sign of being comfortable but that is a different type of comfortable. Being in sweats, hair tied, chilling with no make-up on and the basketball shorts, hair not gelled and posted with a white-tee is a type of “I accept you for the person that you are” type of comfortable.

 I’m talking about the other type of comfortable. I’m talking about the “she knows she got it good here” type of comfortable. The “he probably gonna marry me” type of comfortable. You see, those types of comfortable are never guaranteed. I feel like every person in a relationship should never get too comfortable to the point where they think that their other half will never up and leave them one day because you just don't know that.

 Now this is where whole loop of surprises comes in. You see having surprises keeps your other half on their toes. It shows your boyfriend/girlfriend that you care for them that much to always be thinking of ways to show them that you love them. All of us know that many times after the honey-moon stage, that is where the surprises stop. However to me…whether big or small, it’s the effort that makes it good in my books. The little post-its on your lunch bag where he tells you that you are beautiful or an unexpected package in the mail with your name on it, inside a fresh jacket that you’ve been spotting online. Where you send him emails just to tell him that you are thinking about him or where you stop by the grocery store to grab her favorite ice cream for movie night. To me, its those little things that count.

 If you don’t remember the last time you’ve done something nice for your better half, most likely—they probably don’t remember the last time either. The thing is, the "honey-moon stage" should never be considered just a phase. Who needs a special holiday or an anniversary date to do something nice? The "honey-moon stage" is a continuous process that keeps the spark alive and is what keeps the love going.